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| Mytest |
| 08.08.06 (10:00 pm) [edit] |
This is a test!!1 I hope it
works
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| Da Vinci Crock...and the Folks Who Add and Delete |
| 04.18.06 (12:48 pm) [edit] |
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HaHa...oh the joys of a good laugh.
Well, I know many of you have heard, just as I have, that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute. Well, folks, I must tell you that she certainly was not. No where in the Bible can you find that false bit of information, simply because...well, it's false. So, where did this theory come from? Some guy named "Pope Gregory the Great". So where does this leave the belief about the Da Vinci Code? In the crapper. Why? Because the "facts" that the movie is based on are not "facts" but theories and assumptions by folks who twist and turn the Bible for their own personal gain. Oh yes, I said it.
You know, no one forces anyone to believe in Christ. Each individual makes a personal choice to accept Him as Savior...or...to not. But...But, But, But, But, But...BUT! No one (from highfaluten pope to an elderly handmaiden) should twist or change or add or delete any of the words written in the Bible.
Revelations 22:18-19 states: "And I solemnly declare to everyone who hears the prophetic words of this book: If anyone adds anything to what is written here, God will add to that person the plagues described in this book. And if anyone removes any of the words of this prophetic book, God will remove that person's share in the tree of life and in the holy city that are described in this book."
Therefore, the joys of a good laugh are priceless.
Quote of the Day: "Ignorance is so totally not bliss"
For more information, please visit: http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion...
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| Church Folk |
| 03.28.06 (11:17 am) [edit] |
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On the train this morning, I noticed that an Express paper was sitting beside me. I picked it up, because, as usual, I didn't get one from the guy who passes them out at my first station. After skimming through it, a quote from inshaw.com/blog caught my eye: "There are Christians and there are 'Church Folk'...the agents of the Devil undermining the work of the Almighty. They call themselves Christian[s], but harbor...enough hate, spite [and] uncharitability..." So true! It is amazing how so many non-Christians can be lead astray by "church folk" instead of being influenced by true Christians. So where do people draw the line? How is someone supposed to know the difference between these "church folk" and Christians? Will one group have a certain bumper sticker? Will another wear an "I AM SAVED" pin? How will one group address random people? How will the other react when in a troubling situation? There are so many questions, but only one answer to them all. True Christians will be known by their fruit: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other." - Galatians 5:22-26 I hope this cleared up many misconceptions. Questions? Comments?
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| Today is Friday, well, at Least in My World |
| 01.19.06 (1:09 pm) [edit] |
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The joy's of not having class on Friday is beyond what words can describe. Of course, this is the only week that I can relate to this post since my English class is scheduled for next Friday and beyond...
Books are pricey. Commutes are annoying. Trains come ten minutes late. I pray and pray that I will get to class on time. I go home. I lay down, and the process begins anew. I am going for straight A's this semester. I think I can do it, with God's help. Joyce Meyer has been doing financial shows for two weeks. I rolled over to the sound of her voice echoing in my room this morning. When does John Hagee come on on TBN?
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| Utterl... ugh, I can't even type it |
| 01.15.06 (12:13 pm) [edit] |
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Dangit TBLOG!!!
Ok. The End.
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| Beautiful Quote |
| 12.16.05 (7:52 pm) [edit] |
I heard this quote a few weeks ago, and it touched my heart deeply:
"Don't cover up the cracks. God uses them."
For me, in particular, it is hard to let my faults show. I guess that is a part of human nature. No one on earth is perfect. [i]We all cry, and we all need the redeeming love of Jesus...[/i]
BTW: Check me out on facebook!!!
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| Th Gauntlett Two...Ugh! |
| 12.02.05 (4:14 pm) [edit] |
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The new Real World/Road Rules (Rookie's vs. Veterans) challenge premires on December 5th. Being all excited, I decided to look online at the cast. To my (EXTREME) disappointment, I barely know any of the cast members. I do know the veterans, but come on. They weren't the [i]popular[/i] veterans... Ugh, I guess it's time to move on.
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| Courage |
| 10.18.05 (7:03 am) [edit] |
Everyday life has no choice but to take a backseat to the spiritual.
I was just listening, well, actually I am listening to “Here I am to Worship”, and Israel said, “Lift up a shout of praise, adoration!” And everyone just [i]let go[/i]. Then I remembered a story that someone said on the Impartation DVD’s, where a woman caught the Spirit in her car. She got pulled over, and I’m not sure if the officer asked her to walk the line or what, but I think he caught the Spirit as well.
When I am writing these college papers, and even when Shadrach, Meeshach, and Abednego were about to be thrown into the fiery furnace, the essence of human life had to take a backseat to what is much more important. I am NOT going to change my real life in Jesus, to please someone in this temporal life. Nothing lasts but God. Why would I want to waste my time pleasing people? We may seem weird…peculiar…nuts, but we understand. We see. We know the Truth of life, so why should we EVER sell it? Stay strong everyone… In Jesus’ Name.
[u]*Let us not forget that it is almost over.[/u] Matthew 24:6-7, [i]"6. And wars will break out near and far, but don't panic. Yes, these things must come, but the end won't follow immediately. 7. The nations and kingdoms will proclaim war against each other, and there will be famines and earthquakes in many parts of the world. 8But all this will be only the beginning of the horrors to come..."[/i]
Song of the Day: Here I am to Worship - Israel and New Breed
Quote of the Day: "We've got the victory...WE WIN!" ~We Win, by Israel and New Breed
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| Season's Change |
| 09.30.05 (7:30 pm) [edit] |
Autumn is almost here!
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| RE |
| 08.30.05 (6:31 am) [edit] |
It is so easy for us, as Christians, to get caught up in the cares of this world. On Sunday, during praise and worship, I was so immersed into the presence of God that all the worries of life seemed to just "float away". His presence is [b]SO[/b] awesome... It's like, you cannot contain yourself. I was just joyed beyond description when worship began. It's a boatload of love, and relief all in one. God is SO awesome. I thought about it, and praise and worship can be described in the prefix, "RE".
It [b]RE[/b]generates us for daily living. It [b]RE[/b]news us. It [b]RE[/b]stores us. It is a golden opportunity to [b]RE[/b]joice in the Lord. It [b]RE[/b]pairs us from the cares of this world. It [b]RE[/b]starts us, so that we can begin a new week in a Christian mindset. It [b]RE[/b]minds us that we are only "passing through" this earth... Like my beloved pastor said last Sunday, "We are a peculiar people." but bless God, our peculiarity sets us apart from this world, which fades away, and draws us closer to Christ!
Worship Him. Find comfort in Him. [b]RE[/b]ceive from Him life, and life more abundantly... [b]REJOICE[/b] in the Lord!
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| Starting College |
| 08.20.05 (4:28 am) [edit] |
I am here. I am actually in college.
Amazing...simply amazing. For some reason, I almost think that I should be staring 5th grade or something. It is definitely... :!:
Well, I g2g.
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| Jesus is the ONLY WAY |
| 07.26.05 (12:02 pm) [edit] |
Let me tell you this [b]TODAY[/b]. If someone teaches anything contrary from the Bible, then they are not of God. If someone ever elevates someone to the same level of Jesus Christ, then [b][u]THEY ARE FALSE PROPHETS[/u][/b]. [u]Do not [/u]bid them God-speed. [u]Do not [/u]listen to what they have to say. [u]Do not [/u]invite them for lunch, and [u]do not [/u]in any way, shape, form or fashion try to help them spread their false doctrine!
[i]You have to read the Bible for yourself. [/i]You cannot take someone's word for what the Word says. You have to have your own personal relationship with God, and get to know him for yourself. [i]You have to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior to be a Christian.[/i] Christianity is all about having a true relationship with God. Be real with Him. He doesn't want you to speak to Him by chanting. Would you want someone chanting to you all the time, then saying they have a relationship with you?! That is in no way, a relationship.
Do not get caught up in what other "prominent" people are endorsing, but test everyone by the scriptures to see if what they are preaching is the True Gospel, or if it is some kind of man made doctrine set on fire by Hell itself. No person in this entire world - be it in the past, or in the future- can ever, and I repeat, EVER give you salvation. Mary was just a person. Mary needed salvation just like the rest of us. Our [b]ONLY[/b] hope is [b]JESUS CHRIST[/b]. [u]DO NOT [/u]let [b]ANYONE[/b] lead you astray by saying you don't need Him to get to Heaven. You most surely do, but that shouldn't be your sole reason for accepting Him in your heart. [b][u]Jesus is God[/u][/b], and He deserves [b][u]EVERYTHING[/u][/b], but as I said in my last post, "What can we give?" What can possibly ever be enough for Him? [i]We are nothing, but a vapor in the wind...[/i]
Oh people, hear me. This life is but a short time. Do not get caught up in the things of this world, but have a realtionship with God! It is the [b]ONLY[/b] thing that will last. [b][u]IN JESUS NAME.[/u][/b]
Quote of the day:
[i]"Wonderful Glorious Holy and Righteous
Victorious Conqueror Triumphant and Mighty
Healer Deliverer Shield and Defense
Strong tower and my Best Friend
Omnipotent Omnipresent Soon Coming King
Alpha Omega Lord of Everything
Holy Holy Holy is Your name!"[/i] ~ Lord, You're Holy
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| Worshipping God II |
| 07.26.05 (1:21 am) [edit] |
Worshipping God is the most awesome experience that one could ever partake in. We were created to worship the Lord.
It's like, getting an extremely deep breath of fresh air after having your head being held underwater for a long period of time. Or even like a tall glass of ice water after thirsting for days. It is the ultimate relief...complete satisfaction. It cleanses the soul, and the worries of this world seem to fade as we worship in the presence of God. It is a personal and intimate thing. You are alone with Him, and when you truly worship Him, your heart will cry in thanksgiving towards Him. Though your physical eyes do not see Him, your spiritual eyes see so clearly. You will know when He is there.
What in all the world can we give to God to ever repay Him? We can cry out, "Thank you!" from the bottom of our hearts, a thousand times, but that doesn't even come close to being sufficient for Him. THERE IS NOTHING in this world...there is NOTHING that we have that can be enough for Him! What are we? We are but a "vapor in the wind" or "the grass the withereth in the morning." Nothing we can possibly give can ever be enough... But the wonderful news is, all He wants is us.
And if you give yourself to God completely, then you will gain life for "whosoever will save his life, shall lose it, but whosoever shall lose his life for My sake, shall find it."
He is there, waiting for you. Let it all go, and just worship Him... just embrace being in His presence, and allow His Spirit to dwell among you. For some of you, His presence will be so awesome, that the only expression you will be capable of is producing tears... Give yourself to Him, in Jesus' name...
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| Real Life |
| 07.09.05 (8:35 pm) [edit] |
"If I were a drummer, I would use my symbol. [i][b][u]Since I am a writer, I will use my pencil..."[/u][/b][/i]
People, you need to listen to what I am about to tell you, and I need you to listen clearly. There are MANY false religions out there. Some claim to be the "true" way, but they are liars. Let me tell you this today, and remember this for the rest of your life. Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He died on the cross for the sins of the world when he was blameless. He did that because He loved us SO much.
If anyone every tells you that Jesus was "just a man" or that Jesus never came to this earth, they are liars from the pit of hell. Jesus Christ is REAL, and He is coming again to take back to heaven with him those who believe that He died on the cross for their sins. I tell you this from the bottom of my heart readers, it is such a shame that so many people are being led astray by lies. Let me tell you this, GOD LOVES YOU! HE has loved you from the beginning, and he knew you before you were even born. Do you think you are here by mistake? NO WAY! You are VERY special to Him. Yes, I mean YOU.
It is time to stop searching in garbage cans for food. It is time to sit down at the King's table, and eat the food that will last...to drink the water that will never make you thirst again. Stop looking "to be religious", but look to be a "friend of God." Have a relationship with Him. Talk to Him. He loves you so much, readers. Oh, He loves you beyond what words can express!
There may be someone thinking, "Well, how do I get to know God? How do I accept Jesus Christ?" I have the answer for you:
Romans 10:9 "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."
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| Past the Fog |
| 06.19.05 (9:24 am) [edit] |
God has ALWAYS taken care of me. He has ALWAYS gone before me and after me in everything that has ever been in my life. I still see the results of terrible things, which I would have been in, but God took me under His wing and protected me from the danger I was about it face. Sometimes, we go through things that we think we can't bare. We look at those things like they are the end of the world. Sometimes we may experience hurts or disappointements, in which, we may have a hard time seeing the future positive outcome that results from them.
When I was 13 years old, I was so "in love" with Jerry (I mention him often. If you wanna read about my previous mentionings, then look under the November 2003 posts). I had grown up with him, and we were the best of friends. He is the one who taught me how to play video games. We would go over his grandmothers house afterschool everyday, to play and do our homework together. It was a wonderful relationship, and as I got older, I fell in love with him. Anywho, when I was 13, I found out that he was no longer a virgin, and to some of you, that may not seem like a big deal, but to me it is. You don't just go give your body to someone because you think you "luv" them. Sex is for marriage, bottom line.
Years went on, and I'd hear tips and taps about him here and there, then just recently, I would out that he dropped out of school. Time went on, and Pink, Stan, and I saw him when we were on our way to Vawrey V's picnic in May. Today in church, Jan (owner of Nationott, my Beloved church mother) came up to me and said, "Did you see the news recently?" and I said, "No, why?" and she said, "I tried to call you over the weekend." I said, "What happend?" and she said, "Jerry got arrested for robbery." I was so shocked, and when I am shocked, I start laughing, and I have this sick smile on my face. I was far from happy, but I was SO shocked.
So, I get home, and my sister Mariah, who knew about the robbery the ENTIRE time, showed me the website with his picture on it, and the story. I couldn't believe it. I can't believe that he has just, not even fallen, but JUMPED down the wayside. He had a choice, and it's not like he didn't know the Way. He went to Nationott. We were taught. He has the sweetest grandmother that I have EVER met...He knows the Way.
So, it brings me to now. I sit here, type this to you, and wonder what happens next. How was it so easy for him to do such a thing? How can he bare ebing a disappointment to all of these people. One thing about this area is that, everyone at one point in time, has either attended Nationott. It's IMPOSSIBLE to go anywhere in this town and not expect to run into someone that you know. How could he jus be such a disappointment to all of the people that invested in him? How could he just numb is conscience and follow people? I don't understand. It may have something to do with temperament, but then again, it shouldn't. Life is not a rap video. Life is not about having tons of money, and jewelry. "I'd rather have Jesus than silver and gold." What is money? What can money REALLY do for you?
Folks, please, live the correct life. Don't go along with what people says is right, but do what the Bible says is right. Do what God says is right. Don't let pride hand you a first class ticket to hell. Be humble, and focus on Jesus. Don't ever think that money will solve all of your problems. It's not true, and you will find yourself materially rich, but spiritually poor. Let God be your Provider. Stay close to Him. In Jesus Name...
Song of the day: I Will Praise Your Name
Quote of the day: [i]“Sometimes, we cannot see pass the fog that we are living in, but when we look to Jesus, a greater clarity is obtained.”[/i] ~TrinaBinaBear
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| Divine Limitations |
| 06.13.05 (9:04 pm) [edit] |
June 13, 2005 8:06pm
I was talking to Liz today, and she said that she had gone to the mall to get some clothes for school (and she is going on Sunday). I said, “Well, what’s the problem?” and she said, “I can’t wear them. I have morals. I always said to myself, ‘When I get outta this house, I’m gonna wear whatever I want.’, but I can’t.” I said, “It’s because you are a Christian.” She said, “Well, yeah...I’m in the mall now taking them back.”
It got me to thinking, we, as Christians, can make as many plans as we want to, but that doesn’t mean that they will come to pass. While I was in Florida, I had AMPLE opportunity to go buck wild. I could have come back into the room at any time. I could have sleep in a room full of guys. I mean, the possibilities were endless. It all goes back to the well-known Proverb, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he gets old, he will not depart from it.” It’s so true. There are many things in my life that I have “planned” on doing. Sometimes we, as Christians, fail to remember that we do not belong to ourselves. God gave us His Spirit. We can only go so far with the “acting” out of our plans. Liz is 18 years old. She can pretty much do whatever she wants to do, except drink…but anyways, she has a lot of freedoms that she could take on, if she wanted to. The thing about it is that she CANNOT do anything she wants; because her conscience, which is from God, will tell her that what she is doing is wrong. We have limits. Life should be full of “good” limits so that we can enjoy it with good pleasure.
Song of the Day: A Heart Like Mine- Bryan Duncan
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| Worshipping God |
| 06.06.05 (10:10 pm) [edit] |
I was lying down on the couch a few minutes ago, and I turned to TBN. Donnie McClurkin was doing a worship session, (I would say "concert", but it was worship, so it wasn't a concert). He sang "Only You are Holy." The thing about it was that I remember hearing that song in church, and it is so beautiful, and it transports you into another realm. I had streams falling down my face, as I watched it.
There is something about worshipping God that just gives me this supernatural release. I [i]love[/i] God so much, and I [i]love[/i] worshipping Him. I long for it. A little earlier, I was flipping channels, and there was a movie on TvOne. A choir was singing in church, and I just got so happy. It was just a movie, I know, but I felt a sense of peace as I heard the music. Praise and worship should always be longer, in my opinion. There are hundreds of people in the sanctuary with me, [i]physically[/i]...but [i]spiritually[/i], and [i]intimately[/i], it's only me and God. I don't care how many people are there, it all comes down to me and Him.
Like on Sunday, while in worship, I said, "Oh God, it's just me and You in here." I meant it. No one is focused on anyone else. This is a personal thing. It doesn't matter who is there, or who you sit by, or how far you sit back or anything like that. It all boils down to you and God. You can't have a relationship with Him through other people. It's impossible! What merit does another person have that you don't? What makes them better than you? Wealth, social class, and physical appearance do not matter. That doesn't give anyone value. What truly gives quality of life, and of self is having a relationship with God, and striving to know Him more and more each day.
There were years when I didn't want to have anything to do with church. I had a fear come over me, in which I though that whenever I'd step into a church, everyone would look at me, and talk about how much of a hypocrite I was [for not being there before]. That was back in 2001. I didn't go again for five years. Then, this February, after months of being under Air's Girls Ministry, I knew that it was time. Now, I'm not going to lie and say that that first walk back into church was a piece of cake.
I was [b][u]INCREDIBLY[/u][/b] nervous, and shaky. I was being so irritable, and I wanted to throw up. But that service was the beginning to a new level. I'm so happy that I went. It's one of the best decisions I have ever made. We, as Christians cannot live in a box. Like PS says, "You can't be on an island in your seat." If we are supposed to me the light of the world, then how are we suppose to give illumination if we don't have oil? I know for many of us it is hard, but you can't just give up on "assembly." We need each other, and we all are apart of one body. How would you feel if you were missing an eye?
Search around for a good church. Make sure you feel comfortable there. Don't forsake being with other Christians in worship and service. Always take the time to be with God, and even if you don't think you will change, be persistant in your time with Him. Slowly, but surely, if you really want to please Him, you will change. It's miraculous how it happens.
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| A little older, a little wiser |
| 06.04.05 (8:17 pm) [edit] |
I'm older. I'm 18. Isn't that sick or what?! I remember being 4. I remember being 13. I remember turning 15. Wow, 18. That's something.
At one momment or another in life, everything that you have ever loved will reach a point, and you will see the circumstances of those things you loved. I saw them all in this past week. I've learned so many lessons in this past year. You can have a friend sitting right under your nose. God is truly the Author and this Finisher of our faith. He will order the steps of His people, and with me, allow me to avoid certain situations that aren't good for me in the present time, or ever. You eventually have to leave home, and hold your breath while jumping into the pool of life. Florida was one of the best experiences of my life. I learned that I can be on my own, and not die. I learned that if you fully trust in God, then He will completely take care of you. I learned that sometimes you just have to get away from familiarity, and suck up your pride. Sometimes you have to just let go, and enjoy the day. The list goes on and on.
This was the best year ever in my life. I had a great school year. I've grown as a person, and slowly, I am letting go of past fears that I have built up. I am becoming more outgoing. I am slowly on the path to recovery from alot of things that have happend to me or around me. I have learned that there will be special people in your life that will disappoint you. I have learned that those same special people can steal your heart, and no matter what they do, you will never stop loving them. I have learned that putting people on a pedistal is a BIG mistake, because they are human, and we all make mistakes. I have also learned that a change of scenery...the change in the midst of a season...when the leaves change colors, and slowly, the background changes again, and the snow slowly falls...is like medicine. Going through the motions day after day can drive anyone insane. It's best to enjoy life, live it correctly in God's sight, and think about the meaningful things, and everything will be peachy keen.
Readers, it's not over. It will never be over. Only a new chapter is about to be written. Only a new type of ink will be used to write the words. The characters will still be there, but only the ones who are true will stay. Catch that leaf the is falling from that tree. Look up to the gray sky, and reminisce on what blessings you have received, and what paths you could have taken, but are thankful that you didn't. Get paper, and write to that special friend. Make sure they know you love them as much as you know they love you. Don't live in the past, just keep a fresh memory of it. Don't get rid of your true friends, because you never know when they will bring a bucket of sunshine into your life. Enjoy the day. Play in the rain. Throw a snowball. Do cartwheels in the grass. It's not over readers. Oh no, it's not over...
Songs of the day: Matchbox 20's cd- Mad Season (The Burn, Mad season, Last Beautiful Girl); Bryan Duncan- Things are gonna change.
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| The Meaning of Life |
| 05.23.05 (1:45 pm) [edit] |
Life is all about God. He is the only one that will last. Last night, I was laying down in my tornado of a room, and I felt so lonely, like I hadn't seen God in a while. I said, "God, please, come into my room and be with me tonight." I really missed Him, and I know that was my own fault.
Like, with praise and worship, it doesn't matter how many people can be in the santuary, it's only me and God in there. It is a definately intimate moment. It's so rare to have that with people. I can't worry about that anyways. It doesn't matter. We are all made of dirt anyways, so why should I strive to dirt level? That is definately one thing that I learned this year. There is ONLY God. He is it. Bottom line. Case and point. Searching for intimacy through people is so dissapointing, and it can lead to chronic depression. Stick with God and you'll always stick.
Life is not always going to be full of thrills. Everyday isn't gonna be a thrill ride. There are too many responsibilities, problems, and cares to deal with. That is why, when we are in God's presence, they all disappear. It's an entirely new dimension. Oh, I should have been at church on Sunday! I really needed it (esspecially for this week). So, yeah, if you wanna know the meaning to life, then here it is: God made you. You are here for His pleasure. He loves you, and the intimacy that you are looking for is in Him alone. Stop trying to find it from other things. It ain't there. If you really want it, ask Him, and mean it with your whole heart.
In Jesus' Name...
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| Let's Rewind a Bit |
| 05.20.05 (8:57 am) [edit] |
"With our gifts, we exalt Thee, merciful, wonderful, God."
That is one of the best lyrics I have ever heard, and it is so simple. I don't know what has been going on around here lately (and BTW, I have been up at Nationott everyday). A few months ago, I would have, with excitement, went to the "Impartation" conference. I mean, could there have been a more convinient time, or even a more convinient place?! I'm sick, physically. Yesterday, I felt this thick film of phlegm in the back of my nose. I couldn't get rid of it, so I kinda suffered through it the entire day. I had a great day yesterday, don't get me wrong, but it was the first night of the conference, and I was gonna go...if I was lead.
I knew that it was gonna be broadcast on tv, so instead of sleeping through it live, I came home, and watched it on the computer. From what I saw, and I am only saying this from what I saw, something wasn't right. I know these people, hey, I grew up with these people, but why are they not seeing what I am seeing, or is it just me? When I go up there this afternoon (and might probably stay for the night service) I'm gonna ask Air what she thought of it. Not saying that her opinion makes mine (because we hardly EVER agree on anything), but it matters to me so much. I wanna hear what she has to say.
Besides all of that stuff, school has been great. None of my classmates, with the exception of the employed ones, have been up to Nationott. I have had some GREAT conversation, and have been very relaxed. God showed me immense favor in Physics (I got an A!), and I also got favor in Pre-Cal (a 'C'!). Everything has been great. It's so much more fun knowing your peers and supervisors as people. That professional relationship gets so ACK at times.
Well, I'm gonna go lay down because I have a bad headache. I need to get some sleep as well, because you never know what I might be doing tonight.
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| Now, it's time to say goodbye |
| 05.15.05 (2:41 pm) [edit] |
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Friday was our last day of school. Graduation is the 25th and after 14 years at Nationott, the bell has finally sounded. Amazing. Utterly.
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| Bladeless Scissors |
| 04.23.05 (7:20 pm) [edit] |
[u][b]Bladeless Scissors[/b][/u] by: TrinaBinaBear
It's no longer like holding my breath;
It's more of a sigh of letting go of those things which are Holding me back. How is it that we've all been tricked
Into believing constant lies? How come so many people Don't see the urgency of this dire situation?
It's not a religion; it's a lifestyle. It's not a weekly Encounter, but a daily process. Philisophical speech Won't cut it. It's like bladeless scissors. What is the Point of bladeless scissors? It will cut through very thin Things, but when it is really needed to do it's job, it's Useless. Bladeless scissors only get you so far...
So ok, what you're saying sounds so professional, to the Blind, and so corect, to the mislead, but where is your Proof? On what are you basing your argument? Is it on The True Rock, or is it on a pebble? Why can't we see That we are being blinded by the look of the innocent?! It's a serious thing.
I wanna know. Make it clear to me. Why is it so easy to Choose the counterfeit? Isn't Christ's eternal quality More important than this worldly, hellbound, fleshy quantity? We say to each other, "Be real with me.", but we learn To accept constant falsity?
Let's wake up folks, and see that we are living in a fog. Look for the deeper things. Squint your eyes if you Can't see. Search the scriptures for the clarity...
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| Fasting: It's True Meaning |
| 04.20.05 (7:53 pm) [edit] |
[b][u]"What I have learned from fasting for a day."[/u][/b]
Ok, I never knew that I could see so much clearer. I am hungry like crazy, but still, I see things clearer. My attitude is better. I wasn't bitterly jealous about anything today. I denied myself to my daily conversational pleasures to keep a promise. My gastrointestinal problems have gone away."What I have learned from fasting for almost a day (for the right reason)."
When I just read Isaiah, it said that fasting is more than the physical thing. It is living everyday like a fast (feeding the hungry, clothing the poor, caring for those in need, and showing the love of Christ everywhere to everyone despite what our flesh wants.) Seriously, I would not want to help any enemy in any way (except if I wanted my fellow man to see how humbled I was appearing by helping my enemy). So, I have learned to live life as a fast, almost like a non-physical circumcision. This is what is really important.
God already said, "Ask and you shall receive." All I have to do is ask God for what I want and He will gladly do it. Why should I depend on works to save me and provide me with my desires? It didn't work without before Christ came, and now that Christ is here, we are free indeed, so that, whatever our hearts desire is (as long as it lines up with His will) it will be granted by the powerful name of Jesus Christ. I am God's biological daughter. My daddy will give me anything :)
It's time to stop with traditions, and live for God everywhere we breathe. It's time to put aside all grudges, jealousies, stupid quarrels, hate, and anything that can separate us from God because of our own selfish ambition. It's time to constantly be a blessing to those in need, esspecially if we have abundant resources to help. If you have extra paper in class, give a lot of it to someone who doesn't. If you have a wonderful skill in a specific area where someone is lacking, offer to help them with it. Get ice for that teacher. Listen to the problems of that Christian brother or sister. If you have an extra sandwich, share it with someone who is hungry. See clearer the good in people. Don't stop at what you think is the end of the painting, but go so closer to the portrait so that you can see its true meaning.
Search the hearts of men. See what their motives are. Pray for them. Make sure they know that you care about their well-being. Leave a great impression of God on their lives so that when they hear "Christian" they can say, "Oh, I knew someone who was a Christian and was always such a blessing." If Christ, who ruled everything that has existed (and will ever exist) came to earth and became a hunble servant, how much more should we serve since we are merely the dust of the ground?! It's time to stop giving God only our Bible study time, and only our Sunday worship. It is time to give Him every moment we live, and every talent that we have.
[i]"Blessed are those who walk not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sit in the seat of the scornful, but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in this law doth he meditate day and night?"[/i] What do you think that means? Meditate continously on God's Word. Don't sit or converse with those who are mockers, and contain "philosophical worldy wisdom" that only comes from human understanding. People like that like to see trouble occur, and in the end will only receive trouble themselves. Warn our fellow Christian brothers and sisters about this. If we are to meditate on the Word of God, that means through every moment of the day, for in this, the Lord delights. As a writer, it is so satisfying to see (or read about) someone reading something that I wrote and getting joy out of it. I never know who may be touched by what I write, but God knows who He will touch with His words [Bible], so don't you think that the thrill is so much greater for Him :) ?
Brothers and sisters, go on a fast that will last. Live your life to please God at all costs. He is not as interested in the physical things, as he is in the spiritual. Our physical bodies pass away, but if we have God's spirit living within us, then we have a spirit that will never pass away! We don't have that much time, so spread the Word that Christianity is not a religion full of traditions, [u]do's[/u] and [u]don'ts[/u]. It is a Godly lifestyle that is [i]life-giving[/i].
Do not think that you are above this Word because you are saved. You are only saved through God's grace, not by anything that you have done. You can fast all day everyday, but if you don't do it for the correct reasons, and you do not accept the free gift of Jesus Christ, then you are really just wasting your time. This is not about what we can do to be saved, it's about how God shed His grace on us, and provided a way to be saved in which we should daily give thanks.
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| When did we hit pause? |
| 03.30.05 (3:31 pm) [edit] |
After today's wonderful events, I have been given the stamina to do a tblog post. I am on spring break this week, and to be quite honest, I didn't really prepare well for it. I think that I was just so caught up in school, that when it was the last day I was like, "Hold up, the train is passing me by..."
I've basically spent all of my time at the house. I did go out with Liz, but that was Sunday. The flyer I made for Air was in the church bulliten. Rumor has it that ArchMin came up to Nationott to give "M.Stewpot" and VV two papers that would recommend her for a public school conselling position. She tried hard to get some hefty info from Roje', but finally, he thought it out and said, "You know, I'm busy right now."
I have called Nastcole, but she hasn't called me back. I have also been speaking with some graduatee's...like Sir Peckerson... Figures though, he is my adopted brother. I finally have been watching a new tv show, "Home Delivery." It's alright, but o'so fascist. I swear an FA is one of the producers.
That is pretty much it. Nothing has been going on, and the wind current is still smooth...
Song of the Day: Chaka Khan- I feel for you
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| Take this quiz and win a prize! |
| 03.28.05 (6:51 pm) [edit] |
Think you're smart? Take this quiz.
1. "If you fail to plan, you plan to ______"
2. "Let sleeping ______ lie."
3. "Yellow plus _____ makes _____."
4. "Cleveland _____!"
5. "Everybody plays the ____"
6. "The _____ is much _______ on the other side."
7. "Shades of _____"
8. "In no way, _____, ______, or ______"
9. "Red and blue make ________."
10. How much _______ would _ __________ chuck _ _ ________ could chuck ______ ?
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| Quiz Virus |
| 02.15.05 (7:50 pm) [edit] |
I'm bored out of my mind, and I want something sweet.
Do this quiz:
A. First, recommend to me (or list your favorite):
1. A movie
2. A book, and
3. A musical artist, song, or album
B. Everyone who reads this has to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want.
C. Then, go to your blog, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything they want!
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| That's Love |
| 02.11.05 (3:22 pm) [edit] |
What I am about to post is the most undescribable feeling that one could ever try to portray through words.
[This week is declared "Love Week" because, I have been confronted with I Corinthians 13 all week. On Tuesday, me and Jury had a good talk about it during one of our conferences. At Wednesday's Noon-day Ministry, Lisa did a message called, "Love v. Lust". Yesterday, when I came home from Girls Ministry, I went to Biblegateway, and it's scripture of the day was I Corinthians 13:1-3. I woke up this morning to Joyce Meyer, and she was also talking about it! I know that I should love, regardless if people love me. So today was definitely an eye opener. Read below.]
Well, I would have never imagined what was in store for chapel. No, they didn't talk about the "Love Chapter", but they talked about "Letting Go." When I say letting go, I mean [u]LETTING GO [/u]of all the things that can hinder us in our Christian walk, and in our lives. [i]LETTING GO[/i]... [b][i][u]L-E-T-T-I-N-G G-O[/u][/i][/b]! So, Bleed and Bricks did the sermon together, and in the very the very beginning we had received a strong rebuke from Bricks, because some people found praise and worship funny, like it was a joke. Bleed then went into the sermon, and it was alright... I mean, I wouldn't say that it was anything spectacular, but it was good.
Then, he ends the sermon, and he says, "Wait, I have another thing to add." He did an alter call, then he played a Donnie McClurkin song, and all of a sudden the spirit started moving. First, it was just a simple meditation on the words, then Air (yes, my dear beloved Air) started quietly speaking in tongues. Then as the seconds progressed, it got louder and louder, and deeper and deeper. Then VV joined in, and they were both in a distinct harmony. I started to tear up, then I was crying, and eventually it turned into wailing. I then started jerking from my stomach, and breathing heavily.
Then Painge, seeing that I was crying (mind you, this is about 30 minutes after the heavy anointing of the Spirit), gave me a couple of tissues and hugged me. The thing about it was, when I started to hug her, I was really crying, jerking, and breathing heavily. Then something said, "Say this to her." and I said, in a very distinctive cry voice (which was a little louder than I usually speak), and continuous jerking, "Painge, God loves you more than you know. Don't ever let it go, no matter what anyone says. Hold on to it." and we hugged for a long while.
It was the heaviest I have ever been under the influence of the Holy Spirit, and it wasn't just me. A lot of people in the service were crying, and my beloved teachers were speaking in tongues. It was beautiful. I just remember saying, "God, please don't let me worry about people." and to myself, "Don't stifle the Holy Spirit." (1 Thes 5:19)(NLT)
I couldn't help but thinking about what Air had said to me last night, about being an example to the girls at college. I was praying and I kept saying, "Lord, let me be a good example! Let me lead people to you and not have them turn away from you, Lord!" or I would say, "I was called to be an example. I AM NOTHING, LORD!" or, "Thank you for my life, Lord!" It was a definite reminder that we, as humans, are dirt. [u]WE ARE NOTHING[/u]. Without God, there is no existance! There are times when we push that fact to the back burner.
So, I had a good day. I think that I have reached a new step in my walk. I couldn't see myself doing that before, and actually, I can't believe that it happend to me today. Yes, I am a Christian, and yes, I love the Lord and have been reading my bible daily. I just know that what happend today was Him. There is no other explaination.
So, we calmed down about 2 hours later, and a few people did some testimonies. First, was my little 9th grade friend, Sanction. She went up to the alter, and said that she was glad that she had breath in her body because of all the things that she had been through, and that she had a dream that she was caught up in the clouds. Then Frenzy went up and spoke (Air was praying over him and he was on his knees holding on to her legs.) and he said that he was about to have someone on the b-ball team hurt (or killed) because of something that happend on a recent trip. He then publically apologized to that person and went and hugged him. Next was Haynes and his wife. Then Shaones, and HT. It was beautiful.
I can honestly say that we were all exhausted after what had happend. I was standing up in art class and my stomach, and back her in pain. As I type this to you, I am so tired from crying this morning, that if I go lay down, I would fall asleep. If you haven't, have an encounter with God. Play some worship music and ask him to surround you with his presence. You won't regret it. That's Love...
Songs of the Day: Because of Who You Are- Vicki Yohe, Israel and New Breed- Another Breakthrough
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| "...Look in the Stars and I Remember" |
| 02.06.05 (5:20 pm) [edit] |
I haven't been to school in three days. I did get to see; Jan, Air (with Junior and Patrigals), and 41833 (with Brawny Man, and the offspring) today at church. I didn't say anything to any of them though, and I'm kinda glad it was that way. Great day (and weekend) all around. It's felt like spring here and there hasn't been a cloud in the sky (THANK GOD!). I'm ready for school tomarrow, and I am floating on cloud nine. The only thing about that is that I have the option of leaving at 1, but I wanna talk to Air after lunch. BUT being able to have a mid-day nap is so much more important sometimes. Then again, I haven't been at school in a couple of days, so I need to make up some quizzes... but I'm really gonna miss that nap.
I made dinner today. Of course, the usual Sunday dinner. I wasn't planning on it, but then again, if you wanna eat around here then you gotta do it yourself. After dinner I went out on the porch for a hot second, to get some air and drink some ice water. I finally got to see this Pauly Shore movie called, "Son in Law." I guess you can say it was a silent desperation to watch a comedy that I didn't know all the lines to. I wouldn't say it was that funny, but it was a good movie- and I don't even care for Pauly Shore.
As previously stated, everything has been pretty normal. Good weekend, quiet week, good uplifting music, a nice comedic movie, and unlimited naps... Ahh... nothing like a time like this.
Song of the day: Hanson- Get Up and Go
Commercial of the day: It's either Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper or Diet Cherry Pepsi, when the guy is singing like a muppet as his date is drinking the soda (if you know what the commercial is, drop a line)
Quote of the day: "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." ~ PS
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| TBB's Day Off |
| 02.02.05 (5:19 pm) [edit] |
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I woke up this morning, and thought to myself, "Ya know, I don't necessarily have to get out of the bed at 7:00. I can stay in 'til 7:30. I just have to..." and then I realized that I had to get up this morning. So, I'm in the shower saying, "God, I really wanna stay home today." and in those 10 minutes, I had planned out everything that I would do if I stayed home: science project, final vocation paper, wash clothes, cook, print flyers for play, make a grocery list...etc. So, I call my mom over and over and OVER. There is no answer. The thing about it was that it would only ring once and her answering machine would come on. It starts off my saying, "Hello, your call is being answered by, 'Audix'." I kept getting SO upset. Then finally she answered, and said that I could stay home. I was happy, even though I'd miss my daily HC, and art class.
So, I started all of my plans as soon as possible. The first thing I did was make the grocery list. Then I did the flyers, and started washing. Then I did the dishes, continued to wash clothes, finish my vocation paper, remove my nail polish, and so on. I had about 15 things on my checklist, and I completed all of them. I feel great. I mean, I didn't have a nap, but still, I feel like I finally accomplished something. I hate being bored. Since we are on a half-day schedule, I have ABSOLUTELY nothing to do after lunch. It was so much more fun hanging out with Air when it was illegal...
Songs of the day: Luther Vandross- Always and Forever; Gloria Estefan- Bad Boys
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| The Quiet After the Weekend Storm |
| 02.01.05 (7:30 pm) [edit] |
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Not to sound even remotely boastful in any shape, form, or fashion, but THANK GOD! I went to get the mail today, and there was another letter from my first choice college [that I accepted to]. I wait until I get in the house to wash my hands, and my mom starts opening the letter. I grab it from her, and I swear to you that I only read the first two lines, and then I said, "OH MY GOD! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" Then my mom says, "What?!" and I give it to her. I received a merit scholarship of $8,000 (which is annually!) I have to keep my gpa at or above a 3.0! Ok, so, if you calculate that, it is $32,000, and there may be more. I filled out my FAFSA, and sent it in the very beginning of January. Hopefully, some more money will come through.
I'm just so happy, because last night they called me (but my sister doesn't click over) and they left a message on the answering machine. The lady's voice on the other end was so welcoming and calming. I listened to that message at least 10 times. So, to get the letter today was such a blessing. This just goes to show that, despite those OVER-RATED SAT SCORES, you can still get into a good college and get a scholarhip. Anything is possible with God, esspecially, if you wanna know which college to choose. Circumstances will happen in your life that will make you say, "I AM GOING HERE!" Just ask Him...
Song of the Day: Rocksteady, Always and Forver- Luther Vandross
Quote of the Day: Hello, Little Valentine. ~ Air to me
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| Embuscade: After the Fire |
| 01.25.05 (5:35 pm) [edit] |
I haven't blogged on tblog in a while, and I actually just got a high off of that last post, sooo....
HOW ABOUT ANOTHER ROUND FOR MY FRIENDS!
Utterly Utter. Now, I just wanna say that some things are just plain unfair. My sister is 6 years younger than me (I am 17)... Oh my Goodness. I am 17?! God, it just hit me! I remember the days when I thought that being 10 was just the epitome of coolness. When I was ten, I was still at Nationott, and following Jan around. Good grief. 17? That doesn't even seem right. I remember being at Nanny's house just yesterday. Wow, anywho, as I was saying, my sister is 11, and she is on the phone like she is about to say her last goodbyes. I mean there is no stopping her.
Lately, I have received compaints about how much she is on the phone, but I don't know if it's just that I don't care or that I have a cell phone, and they all have an alternative (at least when it is charged.) C'mon, that's why I have an answering machine. Goodness...
Utter.
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| On Fire, Alright? |
| 01.25.05 (5:25 pm) [edit] |
Hey, we took senior pictures at school today. It was interesting. I mean what can you say about taking some pictures? I can say that I looked nice, got my makeup done, and got some [i]ooohs [/i]and [i]aaahs[/i]. The only thing that bugged me was the drape picture. I mean, I [b][u]HATE[/u][/b], and I repeat, [u][b]HATE [/b][/u]showing skin. I wear a sweater to school hail, sleet, snow, or shine. I don't like being immodest. Then again, I'm not in the best shape.
The past few weeks have been pretty good. I've been noticing how much I enjoy my life, and the people in it, as long as I stay in the will of God. I've discovered some really good Contemporary Christian music (Bryan Duncan...) I have also started to talk more openly [i](and [u]intimately[/u] [see post entitled "Love and Intamacy" in my February 2004 posts])[/i] with Air.
Yesterday, ArchMin came up to Nationott. I wasn't shocked, but excited. Ya'll know what happend to me in the beginning of the year with her [i](and her mouth expressing that we are "bosom buddies"[blog post entitled "I wanna throw up" and "smoky air" September posts]), [/i]so instead of being shocked, I ran to Vawrey V's classroom as fast as I could (because VV and I have been discussing ArchMin for the past few weeks now, and our emotional troubles with her.) Also, this is right after one of my hot conferences with Air. The funny thing is that I was about to mention Arch while I was talking to Air...
SO, at full speed, I ran to VV's classroom. She was at the board teaching. I ran in and stood in the middle of the room, [i]sweating[/i], and looking like I had just escaped a tornado. I mouthed to her, "ARCHMIN IS HERE!" and she said, "WHAT?!" then I said, "Come outside real quick." She came out of her classroom and I told her. Then she said, "I hope she doesn't come down here!" I then left, because I had to go see ArchMin, of course...(well, at least before she said something that would make folks wanna burn me at the stake.)
I came around the corner to the main hallway and there she was, smurk and all. Then she said, "Just the person I came to see." she continued, "I brought your recommendation." (yes, I did ask...[u]3 WEEKS AGO! [/u]and distinctly said, "Urgent") I said, "Thank you." and she said, "Goan...read it." So I did. There were ALOTTA typo's and she spelled my name, "K-A-T-E-R-I-N-A." Everyone knows it's spelled, "KATRINA." Good grief. So she said, "Do I need to make any changes?" and I said (because I didn't need it anymore, and because the trouble just simply wasn't worth it.), "No, it's perfect."
She then left. Udda...
Now, I didn't throw it out, but rather saved it. My plan is to get all of my teachers to write me recommendations so I can save them for future reference, and put them into one of the locked boxes (maybe #1). I mean, how often do you get to keep something like that? I just gotta get Air to suck it up and write me one. I got accepted into Columbia Union today. I'm still not sure of which one to pick. [i]Revelation Knowledge...[/i]
Song of the Day: On Fire- Phoenix
Quote of the Week: [i]About the "ArchMin Bullriding Incident [blog post "Just When You Thought it was Over pt 1-2]"[/i] "I'm not gonna be riding a bull in Florida! I don't have a bull to ride!" ~ Air (11-24-05)
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| OOoo Maybe Maybe... |
| 01.15.05 (6:35 pm) [edit] |
I got accepted to my first college choice a few days ago! I don't quite remember the name of the post, but it was either in September or October. I was talking about going to a small college fair, and how I "feel like I'm gonna get kicked out of this house at every waking moment." I got accepted to the college where the fair was being held. ::As I point my right index finger to you shoulder I say, "Zzzzz.....Ace."::
Everyone up at Nationott is doing well. I won't say same 'ol, because it isn't. There is only about 4 and a half months left, and people (I won't hold my breath) are finally starting to be serious. We are actually starting to have fun being around each other. It's utterly shocking. I'm still waiting on an acceptance letter to another college that I have applied to, but ya know, if I don't I am happy that I got the first one.
Songs of the past few weeks: Bryan Duncan Cd (Quiet Prayers), Avalon- Reason Enough, Cd, "Oh, for the finale"
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| 2005: 5 Months 'til Graduation! |
| 01.01.05 (3:00 pm) [edit] |
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Wow. For so many years, this number has sounded so distant. Now, it's here... Gee, I feel like it just snuck up on me. I think yesterday I had a hard time dealing with it, but what can I do? Time goes on. The funny thing about last night is that at 11:57 I turned to the preview channel and they were announcing the Golden Globe nominees. I was so interested in it. At 11:59 I turned to abc, and they said, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" I missed the ball drop! Eh... it was still 11.59 at my house. They were just a little early...
Song of the Day: 3AM- Matchbox 20
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| Deck the Halls |
| 12.20.04 (5:00 pm) [edit] |
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Liz came over on Saturday and brought me my gift. It was Matchbox 20's previous cd, "More than you think you are." I really like number 6. It snowed last night, so instead of me being home alone today, my family was here...eh It always feels like we get incredibly tired of one another when we are stuck in the house together. It always seems like a silent fight happens, and we need at least 2 days away from each other. I started playing "Halo" the Xbox game that Roger got me. The graphics are spectacular. On the second stage, I am on a planet where you can see the moon up close and the stars during the day. I know that it is a video game, but that is magnificent! I can't believe God made something so beautiful.
Today on UPN, they showed the Cosby Show episode where all the men were pregnant. I recorded it on my dvd player. It was hilarious! I ordered the Phyllis Hyman cd for my mom the other day. Of course, I wasn't gonna be on Amazon and not get something for myself, so I bought Phoenix's cd, "United." They are such a great group. I just hope that Shania Twain comes out with a new cd (not a "Greatest Hits" cd) in the next year or so... Cooncheeks got me a gift on Friday. It was a computer version Scrabble game, and Hanson's "Star Profile." I was truly shocked. How did she know that I was a Hanson Fan?
I just realized how much I don't like winter. I'll repeat this for future readings (basically, for when I am in the summer and I say that I love the winter.) It is so cold and sickness gets brewed up! I can't stand it, and since school is going so well, and because all of my schoolwork has been turned in on time, I'm not even looking forward to snow days. I've still been debating if I should open the dvd Air got me or keep it sealed for future locked box memories. It's not like I ever enjoyed the movie anyways. Maybe it should be invested into the "locked memories."
Song of the Day: All I Need- Matchbox 20, Everybody Wants to Rule the World - Tears for Fears
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| De Hair Es Done! |
| 11.29.04 (3:38 pm) [edit] |
My hair has grown out so much in the past few months. If you wanna hear my tragic story go back to the old post entitled, "Personal Loss." It should be under the August posts.
Well, I got braids again. It took a LONG time, but they look fabulous.
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| Nothing like a Break |
| 11.27.04 (12:36 pm) [edit] |
Ahhh..... there is nothing like a break from a daily routine. I took my braids out. I've had time to sleep and recouperate. I got to get two dvd's and a cd case from Best Buy yesterday. LIFE HAS BEEN GREAT! This break was so needed. Man, I am truly refreshed.
Thanksgiving was great. I felt just like Christmas, ya know, minus the tree and the gifts. I got two books in the mail that I ordered off of Amazon a few days ago. The first one is called, "Why You Act the Way You Do." It is a book about temperaments. The second one is called, "The Act of Marriage." It is about how to have a Christian marriage. Gosh, they are both such good reads. Tim LaHaye is a great author.
The two dvd's I got were "Shallow Hal" and "The Ten Commandments." I got Shallow Hal because I like how the movie is considered fascist by many reviewers but they miss that fact that the BBW won out in the end. And I got the Ten Commandments because the water scene is dynamic. I wonder if it would be better if they redid the movie? Now my cd case is a "Case Logic" case. It holds 100 cd's. Who knew that I would run out of spaces so quickly?
Well, my hands are cold and hurting so I'll see ya'll later
Song of the Day: Teena Marie - Still in Love
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| Over-Step My FACE?! |
| 10.18.04 (9:18 pm) [edit] |
Mondays, I tell ya...
Last night I had some really terrible nose problems, but I still went to school today. I really don't remember the day. 1st and 2nd period we had a verse and poem quiz. In 3rd period I confronted my ex-friend Roje about his continuous partialism towards me. Speaking of him, I think that he doesn't realize how he is. I mean as soon as someone supposedly breaks his "heart" then he will say something like, "I'm changed. I'm sorry Katrina for treating you this and that way..." I'm tired of his crap. I really don't want him around me at all, but I have to live civily.
I am just tired on general of people trying to use me. I mean it's everyone. I don't know if I can say that I have one person that I can truly call a friend, ya know, in the definition of the word. I need someone I can talk to and confide in that won't judge me or make a joke out of the things I believe in or the things that I say. I know that the whole "true friend" thing is rare. I am truly sorry if I have offended anyone in this last paragraph, but if the shoe fits wear it, and if it doesn't don't put it on. I mean I have friends, just not someone that I can really show who I am to. No one knows me, and if I have told you something about myself, then you only know the basis, the surface, the cover of the box underneath the wrapping.
Some people believe that if you live in a big house and live with both of your parents that you should have a happy-go-lucky life. I remember, I think it was last Thursday, when me, Stan, and Air were playing some off version of the question game. I said, "Ask me some questions." and she said, "Oh, nothing has ever happened to you." But how would she know? So anyways back to my ex-friend Roje, I'm tired of him and of his crap (for lack of a better word). I don't need him in my life and he can go around screwing (or at least have the fantasy of screwing) Jury or PinkOne. I just hope that he soon realizes that neither one of them have his dumb behind on their mind. And, oh yeah, if Jury and SnakeEyes ever hook up...yeah...
Back to my day. At lunch I had a chat with PinkOne, who is fed up with Roje as well. She reminisced on what happend during the summer. It is posted under a post entitled "Yo Stan, Check This!" Roje' tried to play her and about 3 weeks later after he declared his undying "LUV" he fell in "LUV" with Jury, who is not in "Love or LUV" with him. But anywho, after that caht was finished I went to sit with my Air. She was looking a tad lonely (in her gold-green shirt and black shirt with black shoes that had gold tips...), but I was planning on sitting with her anyways. As soon as I sat down she said, "OOO I guess your Tattoo's new English tutor..." (referring to English when I said I would tutor him. BTW she made a very rotten face when I said that...hehe) I said, "See you broke the pact, yet again!" She smurked and smiled and we moved on. A few minutes later we went upstairs and she had to make some phone calls. She never came back.
After 7th period I sat outside of her classroom and she said, "Katrina." I said, "MM..hmm..." and she walked aross the traffic of the afterschool bunch and hugged and kissed me. Then she said, "I found the college I was talking about- St. Mary's" So she said, "C'mon." I followed her to the office and she showed me the brochure (which was actually the same brochure that I gave tower a few weeks ago) and said, "If I had a daughter I would want her to go there." She then went on about how beautiful the campus was and stuff like that. I then went home.
Song of the Day: Azyet- Hard for me to say I'm sorry
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| The Infamous 15th Strikes Back! |
| 10.15.04 (10:58 pm) [edit] |
As many of you know, today was supposed to be the day me, Stan, and Air were gonna go to the movies. She instructed me yesterday to call her today, but I never got around to it. I really didn't wanna go for some reason, but I had to come up to Nationott today anyways. First, I had to open a class account with the accounting office. Second, I had to meet up with Stan and Air. Third, the Senior car wash was today and since I'm treasurer, I was gonna just help set up, leave, and then come back for the money.
Roje gave me a ride and when I went up there it looked like the place had been deserted. It looked so bad that I thought that the car wash was cancelled. I then looked in the cafeteria and I saw Air. She was in the teacher in service meeting so I decided not to bother her. Skip Skip...the meeting was over and she came out and up to me and said, "Oh I really appreciate the phone call." and I looked at her. I knew she was trying to find a way to get out of it anyways. She then came up to me and said, "I got things to do." and she bended down and tried to give me an air kiss. I kept moving my head back, but eventually gave in.
I then went to help with the carwash which was an INCREDIBLE success! A few people showed up: UnderthePitts, Undadaequaita#1, Jury, Stan, Roje, Me, TallOne, Painge, Blackness, MeatBall, and Dominos. Carlup (Painge's mom) organized the whole thing. We got alot of donations and ended up making $179! 41833 really helped us get some business. I think we washed everyone's car in her family today :) I took pictures the whole time.
After the car wash the girls had a volleyball game and I wasn't gonna go, but Jury was insistant so I decided to go so she could save face. We dropped by her house and headed for the most over-rated church school ever, JERUSALEM! They say that it's bigger than Nationott, yeah right...and the people there aren't even friendly. We (minus Tallone Painge and Jury) were in the bleachers cycing everything! It was so much fun and they won! I got a ton of pictures of them as well. After the game we all went to the most unknown outdoor mall I have ever seen. It was so organized, and so "UNTOWNRIVER!" The car trip was nice. I think that I was the only one in the car not thinking about hooking up with someone.
I then came home. It was so nice. I'm very glad that Air cancelled, and that I decided to go to the game. This just proves that...Well, let's just say it like this. When you have an original plan, and you don't feel right about something, it won't happen, or maybe it will. Oh well, just follow your instinct and always pray before you go out and do something.
Songs of the Day: B.I.G - Get Money, Nolia Clap (instrumental), Take Me Out- Franz Ferdinand, Teena Maire- Just Us Two
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| Ism's Stink... |
| 10.13.04 (10:35 am) [edit] |
Last night I had a dream about an elder at Nationott's church (Tarrantula) and Haynes. It started off around 1:00 I had walked into the cafeteria and Tarrantula was talking trash about me. I mean it was so loud that he was on the other side of the room and I could still hear him. So I went up to him and tried to reason with him, but to no avail... I then decided to go to Haynes office and ask if he could help this confrontation be remedied. He sat in front of my face and said, "You are worth nothing. Everything that comes your way is your fault. You deserve everything..." and I felt like I was nothing.
[i]In reality, I never liked the elder. Well, I used to, but when he was taking Air and us to CiCi's (read the May posts), he was being VERY fascist. I think from that I felt like he was exactly like any other disrespectful man from around these parts. Also, about Haynes, we have had a bad history, but it seems ok now, even though I'm still pretty wary... [/i]
Later on in the dream me, Stan and Roje' were over Air's house. She was acting weird and wearing some kind of Christmas sweater. So I went to her bathroom and looked in the mirror. All of a sudden my braids were out and I had a head full of hair [For reference read blog entitled, "Personal Loss."] The thing about it was that the back of my hair was still in braids, and, as most of you black girls know, my hair was an untamable bush in the front. I remember getting water and trying my best to press it down, but nothing worked.
There was (before the Air part) another part of my dream which should be classified as a nightmare. I was in my basement, which I would like to call "The dungeon." And I looked at the ground in front of my and there were 3 dead mice on the ground. I remember screaming for my mom. She said (very faintly), "Yes." and I kept getting louder and LOUDER and [b]LOUDER[/b]! She finally came downstairs and cleaned it up, ugh...
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| This is Nothing but a Picture Show |
| 10.12.04 (7:18 pm) [edit] |
Air wasn't at school today :( So we ended up having Koopa Troopa was our homeroom teacher. So as usual, the class was enormously rowdy. 2nd period, Tower came in and started regulating. She kicked 3 people out: Blackness, Undadaequaita#1, and Ol'King Cole. She did all of this while we were in the midst of a literature quiz. So then she said, "OK! NO MORE, KOOPA! STOP THE TEST!" and I was kinda mad because I knew everything. So anyways, she eventually left and folks started discussing the answers, or at least the three that we were allowed to answer. All of a sudden, Stewbie comes into the room. He says, "The quiz will be administered at 3:30. If you're not here then you will receive a zero. Any problems?" No one answered. Even if they would have, it was a set-up to carry someone, so everyone kept their mouths shut.
3rd, 4th, and 5th period were all "Run of the Mill." Lunch came and I was in the office since Air wasn't there. 6th period we had yet another class meeting. I really didn't care this time because there wasn't gonna be a hot conference anyway. So after the meeting I asked Tower if I could finish the collage that I had made for the fall festival. She had given me the key to the high school office and Stan came with me.
Tower came up about 20 minutes later. And I said to her, "I can't take the test today because my mother is on a schedule." and she said, "Well, I'm sorry but you should have said something to Stewbie." I said, "No, that wasn't the appropriate time because we were in a public setting." and she said, "No, you had the opportunity." So I said, "Well just fail me then because I won't be here." and she kept getting louder and so did I.
And right when I was about to reach a level resembling her and Painge from yesterday, Air came walking up the steps! PERFECT TIMING! So she came in the office in a red Chinese shirt and black pants, and she said (with a glowing smile on her face), "Hi Katrina. I was thinking about you on my way to the college." My heart lit up. Then she hugged me and gave me a kiss. So I said with a smile on my face, "Really?! I thought about you all day." she said, "Aw...I was in the car and I was like, 'Oh, I'm gonna miss my time with Katrina today.'" I was beyond happy. I just felt a sense of relief, love, care, and all of the above when she entered the room.
She then started talking to Tower and Stan. Tower said, "Hmmp...I gotta tell you something." and Air said, "I already know everything." so Tower still had to tell her side, and Air's face resembled, "Blahblahblah..." So then she looked at me and I quietly said, "No, I'll tell you the real story later." and she mouthed, "Ok." She then explained her trip there and back. Me and Stan then told her how much we missed her today, and how she threw the entire day off because she wasn't there. Oh, it tottally was the best part of the day!
Song of the Day: Hanson - Believe
Quote of the Day: "Absence from the eye makes the heart grow fonder."
::This is being edited on May 29, 2005 at 6:28pm::
Other QOTD: "After lunch when the whole day seemed to have gone to hell in a handbasket, like the sun risin above the darkenss of night came resounding the South South Eastern bellows of Sister Do Right as if to be riding in on a white horse to save the day, not to glorify her too much but it was nice to see her after the day I had had." ~LickedySplit
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| Serene Morning |
| 10.11.04 (9:31 am) [edit] |
Lately I've been finding myself "waiting out" the weekend, and becoming excited about the thought of school. I got up at 5:30 and took a shower. I came downstairs and my mom is there. I say, "Oh yeah, I forgot it was Columbus Day." But hey, we're not off anyways. Friday we are. Ya know, Friday, "The Infamous 15th?!"
I just hope that we don't have our Physics test today. I hate that class. I mean my eyes will be open and my hand may be writing, but I am asleep in that class. That is the only period of the day the I truly detest. So, maybe I can get it pushed to Wednesday.
Song of the Day: Johnny Hartman - For All We Know
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| Hope and Pray For the Best |
| 10.10.04 (8:44 pm) [edit] |
My phrase for this entire week was "Don't complain 'cause things always work out for the best." I'm trying to write this without complaining. Ray! Whay re you not coming out this friday? What a conspiracy! Man! Maybe something better will come up, because, to be quite frank, I didn't really wanna see the movie. I just wanted the "Time." So maybe we have have the "Time" somewhere else, or maybe this whole thing could be rescheduled til the 29th. But still this was gonna be the 15th, "The Infamous 15th!" Oh well, I just hope that when I break the news to them that "Pep" won't be like, "Oh well, I guess we can't do anything then."
Because for some reason I can hear her saying that. Or maybe, she will say, "Maybe we can do such in such instead." Or she might say, "Well to be honest I was busy anyways." I don't know. Mondays are usually "UGh" days. But you never know. I mean it's not like I wasn't asked about at church today, and even moreso the "Infamous 15th" was brought up in conversation. So maybe she is looking forward to this as much as I am. How much do you wanna bet that she will break the news before I do. I just pray to God that he can provide a diversion that will be bigger and better than aything that we all could have expected.
Thank you God for providing the way :)
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| Ray you don't say! |
| 10.10.04 (7:34 pm) [edit] |
WHY?!!!
Ray doesn't even come out to theaters until October 29th! What are we gonna do now if anything?
I say we go see another movie, but do to Cee's "Only like thriller type genre's" then that ship has sailed. Maybe we could just go our to dinner and have some small talk. That would be best because in a movie theater talking is rare. My whole purpose in this is "too talk" So I guess maybe it will work out for the best.
I guess I have to break the news to the trio tomarrow..
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| SAT Madness! |
| 10.09.04 (4:46 pm) [edit] |
I went to take my SAT's today. What I am about to tell you just proves how much of a "criminal" the S-A-T man is. First, I got to the highschool around 7:30 and traffic was tremendous. Stan was there but I didn't see him until later. So anyways, as I got out of the car I said, "Mom, pray for me." no so much for the test, but for the location I was taking the test in. I got our of the car, took a deep breath, and walked up to the school sidewalk where there were SO many people. I knew no one. So the first "non threatening" person I saw, I spoke to. She brushed me off. I was still cool. Then I ended up standing near this girl who looked just like Diane from Big Brother. I call her "Number 12." We ended up in the same room. They wouldn't even let you into the school unless you had an "approved" ID (I quoted Psalms 100 while I was in line). So it's a good thing I didn't take the test on the date I was supposed to, because I just got my id in August.
I went in and I stood in the line that said, "F-JA" I saw so many ex-Nationotts that it was ridiculous. I then got approved and was directed to the classroom where I was to test. I went to the door and an African woman was outside of it in a desk checking for the registration form and the id (yet again). She smiled and said (in her accented voice) "You sit in seat number '5'." I went in and it was just like any other classroom. Some folks her regular and cool, and then there is always that "idiot" the has too be loud and ruin the serene mood. I sat there quietly and finally said something to the guy sitting a few desks away from me. Ehh...
The test finally started OR at least we thought it was about to. The tester (the nice African woman) started getting into it with so many of the testees. 1st it was "Shanohoe" an ex-Nationott who I chatted with right before the test. Then it was a few other girls and 2 boys. Ehh...we ended up starting our test about an hour later, just because of the testers "disciplinary" action.
The "S-A-T guy" at Nationott should be arrested for false advertisement. The SAT's are just like every other Standarized Test that we have taken since kindergarten. It is a conspiracy the classes, and the gullible people. To all of those who told me this test was hard I send a BIG SMACK out there to your faces for lying. At least I didn't see it as hard. It seemed easier since there was no science or history on it. When I first started the test my nose started running like there was no tomarrow. So for the 1st 2 sections I had a ball of tissue hanging from my nose. It miraculously dried up and I could breathe easy for the rest of the test.
We finally finished the test and I went to catch up with Stan and some of the ex-nationotts. How nice....
BTW: That Nelly song "She don't know my name" with Ron Isley was stuck in my head throughout the entire TEST!
Song of the Day- She don't know my name - Nelly w/ Ron Isley
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| Due to Trust |
| 10.09.04 (10:01 am) [edit] |
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"My blood congeals; I shall write no more."
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| 24 Hour Question Game |
| 10.05.04 (10:28 am) [edit] |
Today is a very monumentous day. Not only will the infamous "Question Game" be face to face, but also it will be a 24 Hour EXTRAVAGANZA! Yesterday night me and Stanley were on the phone for a few hours playing the question game. For those of you who don't know what the question game is, it's a phone game; Whenever a 2 or 3-way call goes silent I would say, "Hey, let's play the question game." And we would go in a specifac order and ask "No-Holds-Bar" questions that the other would have to answer.
It's kind of like truth or dare without the dare. But sometimes this game has gotten many of us in INCREDIBLE trouble. Actually, this only happens when Roje' is playing. But last night it was just me and Stan, THEREFORE, since last nights game was SO intriguing we decided to continue it today.
One thing that I wanna say about last night is that, "No one will ever tell you the truth about themselves until they reach a level of self-acceptance." I made this up this morning, but it is so true. With everyone in my life (who has told me something personal about themselves) they were at the critical stage of self-acceptance. For many people, they don't just come out and say "it" but they will drop hints. Then I would (or my talk partner) ask them a question that pertains to their hint. They will beat around the bush and then finally talk about it, though very hesitantly. [i][::Hence the conversation with Air, entitled, "Tears in the Air."]
[/i]This happend last night with our question game (to me surprisingly). Everyone wants to feel normal, but "What is normal?" Normal is being ones self and not trying to put on a front for others. Being normal is reaching a level of acceptance.
Anywho, I will keep you posted on the game...
Song of the Day: (strictly b/c of the question game [it was playing while on the phone last night]) I Love You- Celine Dion, and N Dey Say - Nelly
Quote of the Day: "No one will ever tell you the truth about themselves until they reach a level of self-acceptance." ~ TBB
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| I Promised Myself I Would Be Positive |
| 10.04.04 (9:09 pm) [edit] |
When your ememies try to trip you up no matter how hard you try to be civil, be positive. When folks you love turn on you just so they won't have a target on their head, be positive. When you feel like you can't posibly be a good person in the eyes of others, be positive.
This year has probably been one of the best that I have ever had a National, BUT sometimes people that I have had problems with try to keep me down in every possible situation. Once you let one ounce of trust seep through your untrusting veins then you know that you have a problem. You have fallen short. You have let their old familiar ways come back to bite you in the butt. If you truly know that someone who doesn't have your best interests in mind then RUN! Because they will go back to those same ways, NEVER TRUST SOMEONE WHO IS UNTRUSTABLE!
Air, on the other hand, is the person who UTTERLY BETRAYED me. Well, I can't totally blame anything on her b/c she doesn't know how I truly feel about TallOne. But GOD! Air didn't know so I won't hold her accountable, but it still isn't fair....
Positive posting will be next
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| Locked Box |
| 10.03.04 (5:05 pm) [edit] |
The weekend has just flown by! Not saying that I wanted all the time I could get (like every other weekend), but it really has come and left. This morning I opened my locked box (the place where I kept my most precious memories, memorabilia, and writings) and I read through a journal that I have been keeping since 8th grade. What I've noticed is that after September 11th, my writings became more mature. I smiled when I noticed this.
I'm almost done the book. It will be a sad moment when I place the period after the last sentence. But I've been working hard on that book, and trust me, I know that it will pay off in the near future.
Last night I was on the phone 'til 1:30a.m. I was talking to Roje' about class stuff. All it took was a bug to crawl on the floor and I went to bed.
Song of the Day: Hey Good Lookin' - Jimmy Buffet & Friends.
Quote of the Day: "Yet another wasted post!"
Thought of the Day: Should I attend the girl's ministry lock-in?
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| Sexy Legs Strikes Back v.2 |
| 10.01.04 (8:44 pm) [edit] |
I then went to get my bag from the school office and all of a sudden, JAN herself, was standing there! The first thing I said was, "JAN!!!" and she said, in her usual Tennessee accent, "Hey!" so I then said, "I haven't seen you in like five months." and she said, "I know. You've lost alot of weight." Then I told her about chapel and Curves. We had a nice chat and it was good to see her. I hugged her and as she was leaving, I told her that I was engaged she said, "To who? Do I know this person?" I said, "It's a guy." and she said, "Really" or somthing that implied something about lesbianism. Though the engagement thing was a lie I needed something to tell her due to the lack of questions I wanted to ask her.
Right before we went on the trip to the capital all of us and Undadaequaita 1 were sitting out in the lobby. He said, "Look at Katrina, showing them [b]legs[/b]." Blue One said, "Ohh and a little [b]thigh[/b] too." I was exceptionally flattered. I then went upstairs to get my flat shoes out of my locker and Underdapitts said, "Katina you look nice in heels." then he stuck his thumb up to me. And right before that Blackness told me that I did a good job in chapel, and also said that I looked nice. I couldn't help but say, "Are you being funny?" because it is so hard to take him seriously.
Then we left for the trip and it was nice. Shawshank and me bonded quite well while we were at the capital. He is so kewl. Stan and I made short speeches at the juntion. They LOVED US! We then left and went to "CiCi's Pizza"
[i]Here is the part that I've been patiently getting to.[/i]
We pulled into CiCi's parking lot and we all jumped out of the van. Shawshank kept telling me how hungry he was and this that and the other. So we bought our tickets and went down the line. I had forgetten my tray so he handed me one. After I had gotten my food I had no where to sit. So I picked a table that wasn't a booth. The Shawshank and I somehow ended up sitting together, alone. We talked about regular stuff, ya know, our rooms, electronics, games, and then he laughed a little when I said that he should be an honorary senior...
After he was done his 4 plates, I said, "Wanna go play a game?" and he said sure. So we were headed to the arcade. Stan kept UTTERLY giving me dirty looks and refused to speak with me. That's how you know you have the UTTER SEXY [b]LEGS[/b]. We went into the arcade and played a shooting game. He beat me. Then I played Crazy Taxi (while Shaw held my purse without protest) and we left. As we were walking out, Roje' and Stan were giving me very dirty and utter triffling glances. I think it made Shawshank uncomfortable. Oh well, none of the bonding was for sexual attention. I just wanna get to know him. And I'm looking for a prom date.
We got back to school and Shaw and I went our separate ways. Maybe he is an FA because he kept looking at my [b]legs [/b]and would glance away when I looked at him. Hmmm... Jan and PS were the first people I saw when I came into the school. I went upstairs and changed my shoes back to my sexy heels. Jan then came upstairs and me and Stan talked with her. She said this, "Hey Tower, you know Katrina is engaged." and Tower said, "For real?" I said, "Why did you tell her? Now everybody's gonna know!" and Tower started smiling and probably got slightly offended. Jan wasn't talking about much. We had a regular conversation and she looked so nice with her hair grown out. As she was leaving Tower asked her if the engagement thing was true and I said, "Would I ever lie to you Jan?" and she said, "YEAH! You always lie to me!" and I started talking in her voice and mocking everything she would say... Oh I miss her so much sometimes...
Me and Stan then went back to Air's class and talked with her since we did miss the daily hot conference. It wasn't long, but it sure was interesting. I recorded a short clip of this moment on my digital and if I ever figure it out I will let you see her in motion. So I was sitting at her seat and she said, "Get up" and I got up and she said, "How was the trip? Did you enjoy it?" and I told her about it and everything, then I was about to leave. Then she said, "Look at your fat [b]legs[/b] all out!" I then smiled.
For some odd reason it didn't offend me at all. Actually, I kind of liked it. Maybe this was the very sentence that proves that Air is an FFA! It that is so then we have more in common than I would have ever guessed. If Air is truly an FA then I would fall out... :)
She then said, "I don't think it's true." I said "What?" and she cut her eyes a little and said "I'll talk to you about it later." and I said, "Oh! well, I'll talk to you about it later." It was about TallOne's virginity... Later means 7 o'clock when I go to the Senior Meeting.
This was a great day. I conquered a fear. I got to see my long lost Aunt (Jan). I went on a semi-date, but not date with Shawshank, and I got Air to almost prove her role in the SA movement. Thank you God! Could the day have gotten any better? This is Sexy [b]Legs[/b] signing off until probably later tonight.
Song of the Day: Spandau Ballet- True/Only When You Leave, Nat King Cole- For All We Know, Nelly- N Dey Say
BTW: Pictures may be posted on either the reflection page or the daily picture blog.
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| Sexy Legs Strikes Back v. 1 |
| 10.01.04 (7:39 pm) [edit] |
I have had one the the best days of my life. It started off as probably one of the most stressful times in my life. My speech class did the sermon today. I was very nervous; so nervous that I didn't get to bed until about 1:00 (hence the previous blog to the previous) So, I got dressed around 7 and made it to school around 8 sharp. I walked in and the first person I saw was TallOne. She said, "OEwww!" and smiled. So I smiled and kept walking. Then I ran into her mother and she said the same thing.
I finally went into the gym where they were setting up chairs for chapel and I saw Jury and PinkOne. They said I looked nice and junk. I then saw Stanley, who looked, "ok" and kept calling me a whore and high class trash, just because I showed my sexy legs... Anyways, nothing could have calmed me down I was so nervous. I did have my cards ready and stuff... So we then went upstairs to go to our lockers. I was walking up the steps and Tower said, "OEwww!" and I smile and kept walking and all of a sudden I ran into my beloved Air. She gasped and said, "Look at you with them legs!" I walked over to her and she said, "You look so nice and so professional!"
I then sat down on the bench near her and told her how nervous I was. She then put her right hand over my forehead and prayed for peace. It's kind of funny because the title of my testimony was, "The Loving Peace of God." So I gave her my digital camera and asked her to take pictures of us while we were up there. She did :) So anyways the chapel started and I swear for about 40 minutes the younger kids were doing praise and worship (I'm guessing to stall b/c the microphones weren't working. Yet another boulder in the way.) As I was looking at them I started to cry. I'm not sure if it was the Holy Spirit or if it was me finally realizing that I am about to leave this place.
Blue One went first. He started off with a prayer and a song. Then he had a 30 minute sermon and would have continued if Haynes wouldn't have interrupted him to give some guy $50 for returning a wallet. We continued. And Stan went. He is a pastor. I mean he didn't even use the microphone, but his delievery was a 9.5 in my eyes. After him went Jury. She had a sweet story about how her step father and her mother met in church. After her it was the infamous ME. The fear had subsided as soon as I had gotten up there. I said, "Good morning, my name is..." but as I was still in my sentence everyone had said goodmorning... But still I guess that funniness broke the ice a tad.
As I continued, I thought about how Jan read scriptures in those ministry tapes I had. So she was my inspiration for when I read the scriptures on my cue cards. I said it like this, "I can NEVER escape your spirit! I can never escape your presence!" it was like a southern roller coaster. Also it was like my voice had changed as I began. It's like it had become more feminine and more loose. So I said my testimony and closed with, "God is not some distant being waiting to condemn you. He loves you and wants you to be in His family. Answer the call. Thank you." I don't even remember if they clapped or not, but I saw Air smiling and snaping pictures of me with my digital.
So after that WONDEROUS victory I felt so relieved. Afterwards Air came up to me and said, "Now this is a senior class. You can only imagine how the graduation will be. She hugged me...and took a picture of everyone. Then hugged and kissed me again...:)
::TO BE CONTINUED IN NEXT POST::
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| I Wonder if October Will Show Up as the Date? |
| 10.01.04 (3:09 am) [edit] |
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My feelings right now: :oops: :x :? :( :o :cry: :shock:
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| Utterly, Udderly, Uddaly, UDDER! |
| 09.30.04 (10:30 pm) [edit] |
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About an hour ago I had a nice chat with Painge... (BTW I HATE this BETA posting engine because it erases EVERYTHING when you click a emoticon!) I was calling her to ask her if she could bring me some earrings for tomarrow... So as she answered the phone it went like this, "Hello?" , (me) "Hello Nasty..." We talked for about 20 minutes. She told me that she had a chat with Underthepitts this afternoon and he said that I was pretty. Well she said it like this, "He said he thinks you're pretty, well, pretty, attractive, same difference..." I said, "Really?" she said, "Yeah.." Very nice, but he is her "Alpha" and I'm still stuck on Shawshank, THEREFORE! So that's that.
Song of the moment: Arthur's Theme - Christopher Cross
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| And then there was me... |
| 09.29.04 (9:45 pm) [edit] |
Now about my day which is the same day of the previous post. I went to the college fair and it was basically just like any other college fair, except smaller. So this moring before we were getting on the bus we had prayer circle and then loaded the bus at 9:00
I looked at some colleges and stuff then around 11:00 I got tired and went to sit with Painge and Sidney on the side of the room. We were talking about 3 persons. The first they called "Alpha" which means, "UnderthePitts." The second was "Theta" which is "SnakeEyes" and the third is my personal favorite, "Zeta" who is the Jerry Doppleganger aka Shawshank...
So Painge was talking about Alpha and how she was having sexual tension with him and this that and the other... Sidney was talking about Theta, who previously suffered from mono. She likes him. And I was talking about Zeta, Shawshank, the guy in my speech class. You know what I've noticed about myself? I either like guys REALLY BIG or REALLY THIN. I mean there is no in between. Shawshank is very tall and thin, but he is smooth and that is why I like him. So I mentioned to them that he writes lyrics (previously mentioned and a post) and then Painge said, "Hey, Shaw, come over here." and then Syd continued, "Do you write lyrics?" and he looked at her and said, "She (me) told you didn't she?" he had a smile on his face the whole time he said it.
And then Painge said, "No, I asked your mom." he said, "But my mom wouldn't know, only she (me) does." So then he smiled and walked away. MY GOD! He is Jerry. I just wish I knew how to tell him that I like him, but I smell the drama in the air. I don't wanna go through a bad experience with a guy just yet. I mean come on. I have NEVER told anyone I like them. Not even Jerry well, until I confronted him the night I found out he wasn't a virgin. Shaw is different. I think I could handle someone like him, because we could be friends, but then again, he may not like me. I would like to go to prom with him though. He isn't that cute but he is "familiar"...
Shawshank b-day is March 11th 1986. He said he plays video games, but not alot. He did play basketball at Nationott, but stopped for some reason. He is half Italian :D , and he wears a leather jacket. He is tall and thin and smooth with him talk. I swear he is Jerry on a fast. Only if he was an FA...
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| Decisions, Desicisions... |
| 09.29.04 (10:33 am) [edit] |
I am, as I stated in a preivious post, going to the college fair today. Aww... I just feel like I'm gonna be Spiritually booted out of this house IN EVERY WAKING MOMENT! God, I know I'm gonna leave. It's not like there is a school around here that I truly wanna go to. That is why I'm going up to Trinity today, so I can see if that is the ABSOLUTELY PERFECT place for me to be. Because if I don't like the campus, or the scenery, or the neighborhood, then I won't be going there and that is just one more college to scratch off of my list.
Then the whole 41833 thing from yesterday. I mean Lee is a good college. It's probably just like Nationott on a large scale, but, and I repeat BUT, I want a change. I've been around nothing but Christianity (not saying that that is bad). Should I go to a secular school, or should I stick to my upbringing and go to a private Christian school? Oh, desicions, desicions. Maybe I can go with a "Powry" (Jan, PS, 41833 and their family) to Tennessee to check Lee out. The other thing about it is that I will be under immense pressure if they get me a scholarship and I want to be in college and have fun... But I must have met them and gotten close with them for a reason.
This day seemed so far away a few years ago. Why is it that it's only a few months away? I love my home and I don't wanna leave... I do need a change of scenery, but I don't wanna go far. Desicions, Desicions...
Song of the Day: Only When You Leave- Spandau Ballet
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| Hey Hey... |
| 09.27.04 (5:35 pm) [edit] |
This morning I couldn't even remember if it was Sunday or Monday. TallOne pissed me off this morning as well, but since I can't remember what happend, I will leave it at that. Anyways, we went to bible class after prayer circle
3rd period I went to Pre-Cal and O-dee showed us our tests. I got 9 out of 25 right. Hey, I was happy. But he gave us an open-book retest. The class phrase, "Teamwork" was yet again used... Speaking of the class we had a class meeting with Mrs. DL 6th period, but we will also get into that later.
4th period, I finished up the newspaper, and I ran into 41833 as I was excorting a student to Music Man for help with his braces. Anywho, 41833 started waving and was like, "Hey, The girls won the game yesterday." I say, "Great!" and she says, "Yeah we won 25 to 2 and the other team was hating it." she continued, "Teesh spiked the ball down to the other side and then one of the opposing girls said, out loud, "HOLY SH*T!"
I'm like, it took EIGHT long years to hear her even remotely cuss. I can't believe it! Anyways she continued, "At the end of the game I went over to the other coach and said, "Good game." and then the coach said, "Get this white b*tch off the court." (41833 starts laughing a little.), "I couldn't believe it. BUT WE WON!!!"
Oh 41833, you never cease to amaze me... Now for lunch. I was sitting on the bench and TallOne came up to me asking me if I wanted to buy a "C/O 05" bag. I said, "Yeah... how much are they?" She said if we get enought people then I would be 6-8 dollars. She then asked me how many people were in our class. I said "22" and she was like Pink and Blue One didn't wanna buy a bag. She continued, "I'm tired of her attitude. I mean we are supposed to work as a class and she always has to be so complicated." She said this very loud. I know she wanted Pink to hear it...
6th period we had a class meeting and everything is about to be organized. Mrs. DL is the best! Now to the infamous Air. Right before 7th period, as I was waiting outside of her class, she walked up to me and hugged and kissed me on my right cheek. Then she said to Stan, who was with me, "I don't wanna kiss you."
7th period, We had personal testimony time in Speech. Lets just say that I was very quiet and reverent
Song of the Day: Only When You Leave - Spandau Ballet
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| Berrylie |
| 09.26.04 (4:06 pm) [edit] |
I had the weirdest dream about my mom and the SA movement last night. If only... Anyways, I finally (a week late) went to the library to get some books for my vocation paper, "How to be a writer." I would have been in and out if I would have had a library card, or if my sister wasn't looking for a specific book.
I do NOT wanna go to school tomarrow...eh typical Sunday evening jargon.
Song of the Day- So happy together- ???
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| The Forgotten Pieces |
| 09.25.04 (9:06 am) [edit] |
I meant to tell all of you this, but I guess since it's not a flattering story I've tried to postpone it.
For the past few days "Underdaequaita1" has been being hitting on me. Instance #1 I was in the highschool office waiting for Tower (who was on the phone) to give me some scissors (so I could cut the sashes for Air) So as I'm waiting, "Ol'King Cole" was stamping the date on the progress reports. Unda was standing there with me going through our grades and I had gotten all A's and a D (by default in Pre-cal) so, Unda looks at his and says, "I beat ya!" then he kisses me on my forehead. My heart skipped a beat, not from love and excitement, but rather by an almost vomitous feeling.
I am a virgin. I have NEVER been kissed, but I plan to after the pastor says, "I pronounce you husband and wife." So this abrupt "thing" was like almost a rape of 1/3 of my virginity. 1/3rd? you're thinking... Well me and Sydney have devised a chart of the 3/3rds of virginity.
1. Kissing
2. Touching
3. The actual intercourse
So Unda almost, in a sick and twisted way, took that from me.
Now for the second instance. Yesterday afternoon when the "Get the heck outta here" bell rang I was headed down the steps and Unda was parrallel to me coming up. He said, "Katrina, just the person I was looking for." and then he licked his lips and started making some very NASTY noices with his mouth... So freakin nasty. I don't know. Maybe he has some kind of bet going on with some guys or what. I'm guessing he does, but I will never be stupid enough to fall for it.
::sidebar:: a few days ago Unda twisted "Savory's" nipples. She decided not to tell anyone because if he were to get kicked off of the team then she would be the point of target. Savory is a girl in my class who dated one of the '04 graduatee's::
So I will keep ya'll posted on what is going on with this situatuon....
Songs of the Day: Give me the night - George Benson; The Air I Breathe - Teena Marie.
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| Almost Died on Rosh Hashannah |
| 09.18.04 (2:50 pm) [edit] |
I feel like I lived my whole day in the subconcious world. I'm lying in bed and all of a sudden a conversation between me and Cooncheeks (a conversation the never existed in reality) popped back up into my head. This is what I get for catching a cold.
Rosh Hashannah...
I was gonna be off that day anyways because I had to watch my sister (who is now in public school). So the night before I was probably on the phone until midnight, and I had gotten home from school late because of volleyball practice. So, I wake up the next morning (Rosh Hashannah) and I can't swallow plus I feel a layer of phlem in the back of my nose and the top of my throat. My GOD! I could still breathe through my nose though. It felt like the first stage of the flu. What a terrible feeling...
Next day, I get up at 5 in the morning. My mom says I can stay home. So I do. Meanwhile, well, later on that day around 11, my mom calls the house. She says, "Take your temperature." I do and it was "101.6" She then says, "You're going to the doctor at 1:15. Get ready." So mom comes home to get me. We were sitting at the doctors office for what seemed to be an hour. But as soon as the door opened I was first to go in. I love my doctor... Anyways, she says, "Well, it looks like you have a cold. The question is, "Is it viral or bacterial?" So then she says, "Lemme see if you have strep throat." So she says, "Say 'Ahhhh' ok?" so I say "Ahhhhhh!" and she is sticking the cuetip in my throat. I gag enormously. Then she says, "Ok, I'm gonna hold your tongue down with this then do what I told you."
She then stcks the thing to the ball in the back of my throat and I didn't know that I could produce so much saliva...ugh. But she had a bucket ready for me 'cause I warned her that I was gonna throw up on her... Anyways, that brings me to today. I'm still sick. I do feel alot better, but I know that I need to change a few things so that I won't get sick again. This has been, in a way, a lesson. First, I should eat more lightly. Since I've been only living on bread and soup for the past 3 days, I have felt better. Plus, I have introduced juice into my life. So now I'm gonna stop drinking ONLY water. Now I'm 'bout to go take a nap...
Song of the Day: Didn't I (Blow ya mind) - Delfonics
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| Witness Wednesday |
| 09.15.04 (7:41 pm) [edit] |
First, to start off with last nights dream. I was looking at an interview with Luther Vandross and some reporter. They were going through Luther's refrigerator to see if he owned any sodas. Anyways, they found 2 Sprites and then Luther started saying, "You know, I used to be into action films and things like at, but now since I found out about this "movement" I start to sing about canned foods." (This was, in no way intended to be fascist. I couldn't lie to you about the dream that I had.) Then the song he mentioned was playing in the background and He was wearing a shirt that barely covered his belly button. I'm so sorry Luther but I had to post this. (P.S. Love ya :)
Now to what happend in reality. We had the most "PHENOMINAL" speaker at chapel today. I don't remember her full name so we can just call her "Evangelist." She came up to revival week last year and brung the house down. She didn't fail us with her message this year either. As soon as she stood up to speak I felt a surge of a sweet spirit in the room. Seriously. God is truly in her. Anyways, the message was about breaking the yolks of bondage in our lives. She would say a sin (i.e, Lust, Cheating, Stealing...) and have a student volunteer themselves to represent the sin at the front of the room.
I don't really feel like getting into the sins that she said, but alot of them hit home for all of us. Many of the people I would have never thought to volunteer went up to the front. Finally the Class of '05's theme "Teamwork" (which was meant to be cheating) worked out for good. At the end of the service she had an alter call. Eight people got saved; Many people rededicated their lives. After that she asked everyone that went to the alter to get in a circle around the commons area. I then got up to join the circle. She started to pray the prayer. I started tearing up. The Spirit was moving, and then Vawrey V (The biggest fake on the East coast) starts doing a fake version of speaking in tongues.
I know your probably thinking, "You don't know if she was faking or not." Yeah I know. We all knew. When someone starts saying, "AshantiRoshHashannah" you know something is up. It's like she waited for the Evangelist to pause to say all that junk. It took everything in me to not bust out laughing. I just know that I was holding Sidney's hand (b/c we were instructed to hold hands) and then when VV said it, I squeezed Sid's hand and bit my lip. After the prayer I opened my eyes and Sidney was shaking from laughter. I later asked my fellow collegues about this situation and we all agreed, even TallOne...
Skip Skip...
Lunch. Cooncheeks bought me lunch today, therefore, yesterday's short rant is now temporarily unfounded. I came in the cafeteria and Air was there at the last table that, for some reason, our class keeps juggling through. Anyways, I walked in and then I was just about to walk out. She says, "Where are you going!" I say, "Out." She says "Come back here. Katrina!" and then I walk out. I eventually came back in and sat there for a few minutes. After lunch, she asked me to do her progress reports for her since she likes my handwriting :)
7th period skip...
Now you'd think I'd be home after that class right? WRONG! I was thinking about what Painge had said to me about how the JV Varsity team couldn't play correctly and how her and TallOne didn't wanna help them learn. So me, being team manager, decided to go back up to the school ('cause I left) and help the girls out. 41833 asked me to go teach the girls how to serve and bump the balls with control. So I did. There was this one girl, who had cornrows down her back and I think is the one going with Sappy, she was incredibly nice to me. I won't draw any conclusions, but I do think there may have been more...but still she was a sweetheart.
There was also that tall light-skinned girl. She seemed very nasty but hey I still dealt with her. It was surprising that "Cornrow Girl" was so nice. It made me think twice. Being there so late I got to see, the most beautiful boy ever, "UnderthePITTS" in a sleveless shirt with shorts. It's like God fashioned him to be Samson, without all the brains... It's like 95% of him genes went to his looks and the other 5% went to brains.
Mrs. Rawls took me home 2 HOURS LATE! But hey, I'm greatful. At least she gave me a ride...
Song of the Day: Luther Vandross - Your Secret Love
Quotes of the day : "OOOh Debra!", A scene with fornication "I gone take my draws off...!" ~ Evangelist (keepin it real)
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| Ehh |
| 09.14.04 (3:36 pm) [edit] |
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Cooncheeks makes me so SICK! I just had to say that before I tell ya the day. We had chapel this morning. The co-basketball coach "Bricks" did the sermon, which was quite well. I got an 85 on a precalculas quiz and 100 on a vocab quiz. All around it was a great day...
Song of the Day: Big Star - The Battle of El Goodo
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| Smoky Air |
| 09.10.04 (6:58 pm) [edit] |
Today was COMPLETELY HEINOUS! (If you want to know the whole story I would recommend you to the previous post.) All I can say is :!:
I came into the school and headed for the gym. I purposely walked into the gym the back way to avoid Air (who I was completely convinced was PISSED at me 'cause of Arch's unwelcome visit to Nationott yesterday afternoon) I go around the corner to where the stairs are and there she is. Have you ever felt no nervous that you were gonna pee on yourself? Well, that's how I felt. So I try to play it off and I said, "Goodmorning" (<-- tottally trying my best to hide my nervousness) She said, "Well hello. I need to speak with you." [::sidebar::] OH GOD! [::end sidebar::] >
I say, "Me?" She says, "Yes, and it's important." So I wait for the stair area to clear itself of students and she said, "I hope you're not feeding information to your best friend." I say (as if I had no clue who she was talking about) "Who?" She says, "Your girl." I say, "You?" She says, "No, ArchMin. She came up here yesterday and was in the office saying that you called her and she needed to return your call. She said all of this to Stanley. I'm like 'Why would she say that' ya know? I know she only said it because I was there." I said, "What is she talking about?! I didn't call her. Why is she starting all this mess?!" She goes, "And she didn't even speak to me until I acknowlegded her." (All of a sudden my heart is in my stomach. My stomach is in my throat. And my throat is in knots.) I then say, "I'm sick of this. I gotta get out of this school! I'm 'bout to go call my mom!" and I walk off. (BTW as I was walking off there was this little kid in the doorway and I think I pushed him out the way) So as I was going she said, "Katrina come back. We need you here! Katrina!..."
I go to the office and call my mom. I start to cry a little and tell her what happend (at least partially 'cause I was suffering from "cry voice") She tells me to calm down and everything. I then went to chapel. It's amazing 'cause I could have cared less what was about to happen in chapel because this crap was all that was on my mind. Towerhigh did chapel and during the whole service I was just waiting for Air to say something really nasty to me...It never happend.
It was then time for English. I went. I sat. I was not in the mood for English. I didn't even care what Air was saying. I litterally wasn't there.
PreCal: Me and Porce had a very nice conversation about Teena Marie. She knew some of the songs on my bookbag. It was truly refreshing because I never met anyone who listens to the same genres as me :)
4th period... Physics...skip skip
Lunch. I actually was in the cafeteria. I sat alone at first 'cause my plan was to read my precalculas book. That plan was overturned and I ended up sitting with the regulars plus "Jury" <---grrr... So about half way through it the Pink and Blue One's leave to talk to Santee (Gym teacher) So I was watching the Pink One's stuff. Air walks up to the table with a plate of food. She says to me, "Who's stuff is this? and Where is my seat?" I said, "This stuff is Pinks, and I didn't save you a seat 'cause I didn't think you were talking to me." She says (with a look of disgust on her face and speaking with a stern pissed of voice) "Why wouldn't I be talking with you!" I say, (in a calm voice) "I thought you were upset with me." She says "Why would I be upset with you?! You're my boo." (There goes that South East lingo) I make a partial but "don't really care" smile and she sits with the teachers. >
Stan comes to the table with me and we had a rather nice chat while he ate. We didn't have our usual conference with Air, but we did have a conference. Around 2:00 Air, Towerhigh, and Stan go upstairs. I head to the office and then to the high school office. Air comes in after me and we ended up talking about class trips. I really wasn't talking much because I still felt bad I guess. So then Tower left and we were in the office with this nice African woman. I'm guessing it's Tower's assistant, but anywho me and Air were there.
I say, "Do you know how to black someone's number?" She says, "Is it that bad?!" I say, "No, but I really wanna cut off all ties without having confrontation." She says, "Oh, well I say tell ya momma." The African lady interupts and says, "Call the phone company." and then Air interupts and says, "No, do what I told you to do. Tell ya momma." Tower comes back and then the bell rings. Air comes over to me and gives me a hug and a kiss... Oh Air, how could I ever forsake you?
You would think that would be the end of all the drama right? Dream on... I come home and relax for a while then I start to fry chicken. The phone rings. I answer and it's the Pink One. She says, "Did you hear what Santee said to me at lunch today about cleaning tables? (another time folks) and I say, "Yes." she says, "Hold on I want you to talk to my dad." [::sidebar::] This week must be some collosal joke huh? I mean I am minding my own business and now I'm involved with this drama. Someone must have a hit out on me by now...[::end sidebar::]
He gets on the phone and asks me what happend. I tell him (it wasn't even that big of a deal. Santee just plays ALOT) So he starts getting upset and calling people perverts, and talks about how he gonna call the police and everything... Then he says, "If I need you as a witness will you speak to the principal?" I say, "I'm not trying to sound rude when I say this, but I'm going through alot of stuff up there and this is Pink's situation. Her boyfriend was there and I'm pretty sure that he woudn't have a problem speaking, but right now is not a good time for me." he says "Ok" and then I say, "Ok" and hang up. WTH!!!! I later talked to Pink and she's not mad at me. Thank God.... This just proves that...What does this prove?
Song of the day: You don't know my name - Alicia Keys
Words of the day: Brainwashing, and "Death!" ~ Action J
Todays Breath of freah air: When I found out Air wasn't mad at me
Todays bit of insight: Finding a website where it explains precalculas
Quote of the day: BRAN NEW YEAR! ~ Cooncheeks (in the office)
Hot happening of the day: This girl they call "Big Burly" and "Shaq" was walking behind me. I guess I was going too slow and she said, "Move B*tch" lol...
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| I Wanna Throw Up |
| 09.10.04 (4:58 am) [edit] |
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Death? Not Possible...
Yesterday ArchMin came over my house at 4:20... but before that let me explain where she was prior to my house. I get call from Stan at 5:30 something and he says the Arch was at Nationott and came in the office and was like, "Hey, You should call me sometimes. I TALKED TO KATRINA A FEW DAYS AGO." She said this while Air (arch-nemesis and my new super buddy) was in the office, but get this. Arch speaks to Stan and says absolutly NOTHING to Air. So Arch is turning the knob to leave the office and Air says, "WELL HELLO!" and Arch says, "Uhh, hi." then goes on aboout her business.
Why whas she up there you ask? To get her mail...ugh. Now here is my dilemma, since I happened to mention the 8 page letter to Air the other day I feel like I have utterly betrayed ArchMin. But then again, I never liked ArchMin as much as I LOVE Air. I feel like I betrayed Air because, yes the other night I did call ArchMin, BUT it was just to see if the rumors were true about her coming back. Now, I'm in a sickening situation. Will Air be so UTTERLY pissed at me because I kinda sorta called Arch or will she tottally not care and still love me. I don't want her to think that I'm the mole or something of the nature. I feel like I'm playing both sides, but I'm not. I know I don't care for Arch the way I do for Air. Actually my plan was to cut off ALL TIES to Arch since my rekindled affair with Air. What's a girl to do?
So here I am at 7:10a.m. on a Friday morning writing how I am such a terrible being. I even went to the store last night to try to find Air a card so shwe wouldn't think that I was playing both sides. I love her. I care for her. ArchMin? she is alright, but she is no Air.
Song of the Day: You don't know my name- Alicia Keys
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| Tuesday, Tuesday? |
| 09.07.04 (2:38 pm) [edit] |
What a weekend. I hate having company over. It's like they just take over your life... Anyways, the weekend is over and I went to school today. Haynes makes me sick and I was so tired today from the extra guests over the house this weekend. BTW: I got to drive the truck on road yesterday with my dad :)
Air had on a flowery dress and a blue sports jacket, the usual. She also had me printing papers for her throughout the day :x. I didn't get a chance to attend the lunchtime conference today because I had to go to "MiMi's", the braider, to get a touch up. I was there for about an hour and came home at 3:00.
Last night I stayed up to watch the BET awards and I FINALLY got to see Teena Marie and Rick James last performance before his death. My Goodness she can sing! It was worth it even though My eyes are paying for it now.
Song of the Day: I Got You- Teena Marie and Rick James
Todays breath of fresh air : Leaving at 1:30
Hot Gossip- Sweet Pea told me that her and Roje are officially not friends (again) because he quote, "Went over the line on Friday." I will find out more on this subject later on today.
Todays Bit of Insight: I just found out today that I am the Yearbook comittee. Amazing how everyone knew before I did, and Sweet Pea saw Jan today...(grrr... I wish it were me)
Quote of the Day: [to Sydney for being so slow with everything] We're seniors now so LET'S GET POPPIN'! ~Air
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| 'Cause She Didn't Want Parades Just Passing By Her |
| 09.04.04 (6:47 pm) [edit] |
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Anyone wanna give me $18.00?
Today me my mom and my sister went to the grocery store, twice. I was so tired the ENTIRE time. I almost fell asleep as I was pushing the cart. Maybe this weekend I can recouperate the many lost hours of sleep due to the return of Nationott.
Ike and Tina relationships have been all over the place, well, at least all open all over the place. Actually, by many prominent women in my life. It seems like the second time around everything works out better for all of them. I think that any woman who has divorced her first husband should go after a person she may have never considered. Maybe someone outside of her race. In the case of Paula Deen, her husband (who is in her race) may not have been a person she would have never considered in her early 20's. Maybe from the early 40's to the mid 50's a womans judgement skyrockets...
I love Autumn. I can't wait until it gets here. It's just something about that time of year that just invigorates me. The only thing about that time is that I really would like to date someone. I'm not sure if the reason is because the sun goes down earlier, or even if things or more quiet and having someone (who is warm) on all those frigid afternoons. Autumn...Oh Autumn, when will you arrive?
Songs of the Day: You can't go back- Patti Scialfa, What's love got to do with it?- Tina Turner, Don't cry out loud- Melissa Manchester
Today's breath of fresh air: Finally being able to find songs that fit the season.
Today's bit of insight: When I have a daughter I will name her Autumn.
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| All the Bells and Missles? |
| 09.01.04 (6:42 pm) [edit] |
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I am amazed to say that I am finally happy to see Painge. She has brought (I wanna say broughten) life to our class by finally showing up. I guess maybe her appearance has made Air feel like it's finally time to start acting normal.
I finally got my seat moved to the correct location in Air's class. THANK YOU GOD! Because, for some reason, I am not attentive in the front of the class. To tell you the truth I'm just out of it this year. I don't feel like I'm in school. In my mind this is just a few days I have to get through to have my summer back again. Actually, I'm starting to feel like I'm missing out on one of the most memorable (or at least supposed to be memorable) times in high school. I don't even enter the cafeteria and if I do it's just to socialize for a few minutes then I leave.
Air got pissed at me today for leaving (actually not just today but also yesterday) the cafeteria. Right when lunch first started I was sitting on the bench with Roje' and Stanley. Air comes up to me and says "I don't like you." I was shocked (and smiling), then I said, "Why?" then she said "Because you get to leave at 2:30." I say "I don't leave at 2:30." She then says, "Oh, I like you then..." ??? weird...
She wore a HOT yellow outfit today. It looked as if someone grabbed her from the sun. Anyways, I thought it was gonna be a TERRIBLE day today. Why? I don't know. Every morning this week I have felt completely nauseous. I didn't eat anything today until around 3:00 when I was about to leave and even then it was just some crackers. Eating them make me even hungrier than I was before, but thank God my mom came to get me earlier.
Hot Gossip of the day: Sking and DOO DOO were spotted at the tattoo shop together (for those who don't know who these people are, SKing is the woman who wanted to beat me up for not wanting to have her as Senior advisor. DOO DOO is an x-basketball player who had a raunchy affair with the married SKing... or so they say)
Song of the day: Teena Marie- Mixes my Garnier & nbsp;
Today's breath of fresh air : When I got my seat changed, (Monday's was having a math teacher who knows what he's doing)
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| Beginning of the End |
| 08.30.04 (6:50 am) [edit] |
Today is the VERY FIRST day of the beginning of my ending at Nationott. I'm incredibly nervous, but also excited to see what the day may bring. Last Night I had a dream about Air. ArchMin was at Nationott telling me about how she called PS and told him that she was looking for a job 'cause her car had broken down. Then she went on about how "I AM THE SENIOR ADVISOR! THIS IS MY GIVEN TITLE..." but while she was talking to me and half of the other people upstairs, Air came up to me and gave me a big hug. I was lovin it but then Arch pulled me away and continued to speak loudly...
Only more juice added to that turning blender...
Song of the moment: Never can say goodbye - Jackson 5
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| Whats been going on |
| 08.29.04 (9:04 am) [edit] |
Tomarrow is the very first day of senior year. I would say that I'm excited, but that would be a confusing answer, 'cause to tell you the truth I don't know what I feel. I do wanna talk to Air. But then again, we might need to wait for an "exciting or unappealing" situation to spark that conversation fire. So maybe for the 1st 2 weeks this may be a long shot. You never know, especially since the complete ArchMin news I have received over the summer. All it may take is someone mentioning Arch and everything could be rekindled.
We have two new books to read in English this year. The first is 'Macbeth.' The second book is every Americans personal favorite, 'Pilgrams Progress.' And rumor has it that we have Air back to back this year. GOD! When am I gonna have time to do my homework for English? lol. Rumor also has it that the infamous "4th period" is yet again free this year. I guess, well it's kind of bittersweet because last year during 4th period I was working for Jan. (or at least on paper I was) This year who knows. All of this will be geared towards community hours. And speech is right after lunch making my dream of leaving at 1 o clock non-existant. (Jesus, I hope I don't cry tomarrow. I forbid that in Jesus' name...)
I can (or at least I think I can) still leave at 2:30. But if I can't then I will just get that extra hour of office community service.
Why am I talking about this? Now is still summer in my book...
Song of the day: Something that Teena Marie sings...
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| License & Registration please |
| 08.26.04 (11:47 am) [edit] |
I FINALLY got my driving permit today. After 2 FULL days of studying. The last 3 times the scripture "Faith without is dead."
Thank You God.
Song of the Day: Can it be love & I'm Gonna Have My Cake and Eat It too - Teena Marie
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| Totalitarian Rule! |
| 08.24.04 (9:43 am) [edit] |
I found out yesterday afternoon that I have just lost my scholarship to go to Nationott. Stewbie called the house at 5:00p.m. He said, "Katrina has to pay full tuition." The funny part about this whole thing is that I wrote the re-scholarship request 4 months ago and we are just getting a rejection call. My mom asked why so late. He said "Oh, I forgot." Oh, if the union would let me cuss!!!!
Ok. Now on to the solution. I guess Trinity is completely out of the picture. I mean it is $20,000 a year. That is completely too much. Can you believe Nationot's tuition this year
( for a senior who will basically be having half days) is $575 a month. I mean come on. I do everything up there. I guess, as my mom said, that this will make my year more assertive. Just like when that whore of a hair dresser cut my hair off, I have just learned to be more assertive.
The only reason I did so much last year is because I wasn't paying tuition. I mean Stewbie would make me write his articles for the newspaper. I'd have to chase after folks to get articles. I would be talked about, ridiculed, just so I wouldn't "offend" someone who signed the papers to get me a scholarship. I went through a lot of "Shiff" last year. This time around it won't happen. Screw COONCHEEKS!!!!! Yes I have finally used a full name!
So now, there is 100 gallons of full under my already raging bonfire. This will be some kinda year. Rumor has it they raised tuition because we have so few people in our class. So, your point is? I could have done everything that I did last year for a G4 paycheck. But did I? No.
Oh yeah, about that totalitarian rule. I was thinking, "Hey, I could maybe ask my church for some money, and then it occured to me "Nationott is my church!"
In closing, as Cathy (my mom) just said a few minutes prior to this rant, "Your really under pressure now..."
Song of the Day: Under Pressure - Queen and David Bowie
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| YES! |
| 08.20.04 (11:05 am) [edit] |
Ok. From reading my last post you know that I went up to Nationott today. I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE GYM! And they gave me the option of leaving at 1!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! O.k. I'm trying to compose myself. Lemme tell you what happpend.
First me and my mom walk into the school. We go to the office where Coney is sitting. I say that I have an appointment with Towerhigh. She says to wait in the lobby. We wait and then O-dee comes in. He says "Ready?" So we go upstairs and sit down. Then he says, "I know that this is a very important year." Then he starts looking through my transcripts. I get a tad nervous 'cause as you know, I don't wanna take gym. So he shows them to me and says "I see that your worst grade on this entire sheet is a "B." We continue. I say, "Can you look at P.E for me 'cause last time they said I only had half a credit. He says (and looks at it) "Oh no, you have the full credit." I squeezed my moms leg. The excitement in my spirit was overwelmed. So he says, "You don't have to take gym." And he told me the classes that I have to take:
1. Bible
2. English (I'm assuming that it is 2nd period. Also Air does leave chapel early if time runs over :)
3. Physics (lab and math. We only have Vawrey twice a week)
4. Pre-Calculus (Heavy Prayer)
5. Speech (only for a half a year)
So that leaves 2, not one but TWO free periods. He did say that I could leave early OR work in the office for community service. I only need about 15-20 hours any ways!!!! Ok. So here is my plan. 1. Bible and English are gonna be fine because those are taught by Air. 2. Physics Math is taught by O-dee, and lab is taught by Vawrey, therefore I might have to be on both of their tails to make a decent grade. Same with Pre-Cal. And finally speech. I'm not even sure if you take tests in that class, but I know that I will make an A. Plus, working in the office for a few weeks.
So here we have it. My class schedule for the entire year. Maybe 2nd semester I can leave at 12:00 noon. I might even have my license by then. And who knows about the car <-- hopefully >
BTW: Go rent, or buy "Adaptation" that movie is crazy
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| Aww Man! |
| 08.18.04 (6:42 pm) [edit] |
I get sick just thinking about school. I can't stand the feeling of sad anticipation. I also hate how new folks aka. Haynes try to start new things. I mean come on. We freakin have to wear ties.
Ok. But the good news I guess you could say, is that I have Air as a homeroom teacher (or so Stan said so) She is also our sponsor. But hey, I will be up there friday to figure out my schedule. And I will try my best to find any possible way to not take gym. You see, those suckers should have let me take gym last year. Stupid folks... Hopefully Trevor Brown will be our gym master.
Coney (stupid woman from the office/ also known as Mrs.C) is still talking trash about me. Let me say this and let me say it loud and clear, "I, KATRINA, WILL NEVER TELL THAT RETCHID OLD WOMAN ANYTHING!" I can't stand her. That is the one thorn on the flower of working in the office. Also, I'm not sure about the whole Air thing. I mean will she give us assigned seats? Will she still be a bonified fascist? Sickening... I really don't want an immaturity rerun like last year. I want everyone to act civilized. Hopefully the new kids will be wonderful.
Chapel. Oh God, chapel. Man I don't wanna go, but then when you think about it, it might be ok as long as things go well. But we've never had chapel without ArchMin singing her lungs away. Whats gonna happen in that department?
I wanna throw up. Yes, I do, but by God this will be a wonderful year
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| Dream vs. Reality |
| 08.10.04 (8:37 am) [edit] |
Last night I had the most realistic dream I could have ever had in my life. It was so "to a T" to reality. This just shows that I really need to turn that tv off before I go to bed and also always remember to pray before I shut my eyes. The dream started around 2 am. I was really suffering from insomnia last night, maybe because I didn't pray before I shut my eyes. Anyways, the dream reflected a whole nuther (lol) side of me. I mean when I got up I felt as if everything had happend, and I was trying to hide myself from being discovered.
Yet again, me and Roje' were showering. Not together this time but he was in my bathroom showering and I waited for him to come out and then I went in. Terrible because I don't even like Roje'. We are very close friends, but sexually? Are you kidding me? I wonder why he is always the male character in my dreams, BUT not of my dreams. Not only was he the clincher, but there was also this person, who I don't know, which was that main character of my dream. This was the most disturbing part of it all.
Air, Jan, and my mother all had parts that resembled the whol "Hours" part minus the lesbianism. I feel so freakin crazy right now.
Song of the dream: I got you - Teena Marie and Rick James
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| Haynes His Way |
| 08.09.04 (8:36 am) [edit] |
I would usually NEVER dedicate a blog to someone I have had uncontrollable confrontation with. Last night I had a dream about "Haynes", my 8th grade principal who almost completely expelled me from Nationott. It's a long story, but anyways he is now our new VP thanx to Jan (<-- grrr...) So how am I supposed to handle this? I mean this is a regime change back to evil. And the thing about it is that he has everyone hypnotized. Air, my mother(this one hurts the most), and all of the office staff. That man is crazy. Literally. Hopefully his wife will get pregnant again and he will have to go on maternity leave just like last time.>
Anyways here is the dream. I was in my room and he had cameras there. Roje' and me were in my room and all of a sudden Haynes appeared and said, "Don't call me Sideshow Bob." Then I changed my room and stuff and he kept watching me through cameras. Skip Skip We are in a toys r us. It was for some reason where Spanish class was being held. So we were in class around the area where you put your items on the belt. He came in the room and said that he needed to see me. All of a sudden I am running around the store with these 3 guys. They all said something nasty to me, and then, all of a sudden Haynes throws a cell phone with a wire at me. He was really stalking me. I spent most of my time trying to turn people against him, because, as I said earlier, he hypnotized everyone (like he is doing in real life) So, going on, I didn't pick the phone up and ran outside of the store.
It was nightime and I jumped in the car with my mom. We were pulling out of the parking lot and we saw a dog that look "exactly" like my dog Jack. So I said, "Mom pull over that's Jack." I then said "Hey Jack, come on boy!" He came up and my mom turned the car light on and I read his tag. It said something like, "In memory of Jack London." So then we let that crazy dog go free, 'cause it wasn't Jack. He was let go on a highway. That was the end of the dream. Now for my take...
As soon as I woke up this morning I started praying. I was still half sleep, but I was praying and as soon as I prayed about my Haynes situation that phone rang. Erie huh? It rang twice and my dad answered. Thank God 'cause if I was at this house alone I don't know what would have happened.
Song of the song: Tell me something good- Chaka Khan and Rufus; Teena Marie - Hypnotized
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| Sunday's Sun |
| 08.08.04 (6:26 pm) [edit] |
Today I went to get braids. Yes, you heard right, braids, the one hairstyle I truly detest getting. I mean they look beautiful, but it takes sooooo many hours... good gracious. The difference about this time is that I didn't cry, my head doesn't feel that bad, and I basically had no choice due to last Wednesday.
Soon (hopefully during Nationott's "Revival Week") I will get my senior pictures done. You'll never believe what I had a dream about last night. SKing became our homeroom teacher/sponsor. It's kinda funny 'cause I talked to ArchMin and Vawrey V on the phone last week (not together) and they both said that they (both claim from reliable sources) know Freed Man and SKing would be our homeroom teacher and advisor. What a load of... I mean WTHeck? But then again it was from the most uninformed people at Nationott. I'll find out everything on the 27th anyways...
Song of the Day: My Body's Hungry- Teena Marie Thought of the day: Big Brother 5 is the best
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| Catch Your Reflection |
| 08.07.04 (6:26 pm) [edit] |
I don't have much to say today, I feel under the weather, but I wanna say "Rest in Peace Rick James." I know he may have had a hard life, but he sure has given me some happy times with a few of his duets with Teena Marie and a couple of his songs which I would like to reflect on:
Fire and Desire
I'm Just a Sucker for Your Love
Happy
Call Me
Slow Dancin
Songs of the Day: Slow Dancin' - Rick James & Chaka Khan, Fire and Desire - Rick James & Teena Marie, You Make Love to me like Springtime - Teena Marie, Hypnotized - Teena Marie
BTW - Visit my picture site (trinabinabear.buzznet.com) link is at the top left
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| Personal Loss |
| 08.05.04 (12:01 pm) [edit] |
I am so depressed. I'm not just saying that because it is the "in" thing to say now-a-days. I truly am depressed. It seems like nothing in this world can make me happy right now. Last night I had a horrifac experience at the hair dresser. I swear if I weren't a Christian you would have seen me on the news with a headline saying [u][b]"17 year old girl kills stylist with a gun." [/b][/u]I'm very serious. Thank God for Jesus. I didn't even cuss the girl (<-- I'm being very nice) out because maybe I was in too much shock, or I wasn't trying to be incredibly mean to her (>
Another thing I thought about was family issues which I thought I would never let go of, but I have. Ya know. You never know how much you appreciate apart of your body until it's gone or not working correctly. I never realized how much my hair had to do with my self-confidence. Though it was never a main issue with me in the mornings it is a part of my body that I'd rather live with. Everytime I think about it a certain line in scripture pops up into my head, "and give my body to be burned." I know, I know. It is just apart of my body which will return to the dust of the ground, but IT IS A PART OF MY BODY! ::silently breathing:: Ok,...
I have also realized that I only care about 3 things. I mean this [b]Only 3[/b]; God, My family (including the animals), and myself. That's it. I know I always post drama on the blog, and I know that I have a schtick for reality shows, but [b]none[/b] of that matters to me. I could care less. So since those 3 areas are apart of my heart here is how my heart is built; In the Arteries are my family. In my veins is me, and in my heart is Jesus Christ (Though He makes it all work together.) Which brings up another scripture in my mind "All things work together for good to them who love God, to them who are called according to His purpose."
So as I sit here in this chair and listen to orchestra music, I am feeling amazingly calm. I feel better as time goes on and I know so will my hair. It all comes down to trust. When you go to a salon you are putting immense trust into whoever is about to deal with your hair. My hair. My hair went through tremendous trauma yesterday. My hair...My hair!!!!! Oh God, my hair :( Ok,... everything will be fine. Hair grows. Thank God hair grows because that is one of my saving graces in this matter. I just feel lesser than a woman should. No one would ever want me with hair like this, not saying that I'm out looking it's more like I am a woman, a woman wants hair. Beautiful hair, not screwed (<-- I'm doing good) up hair. >
Men are attracted to hair! I do feel like eventually I will be at that level where I will be married and start a family, but for now this was one of the keys to that door. My hair, Good Lord, my hair. But it will grow back and in a year this won't even be an issue, why? because hair grows, even though I'm at the verge of crying right now.
I've been moping around all day trying to put the most depressing song I possibly could into my head. I've been taking tons of vitamins so my hair would grow faster. I've been praying and sitting in the dark and talking to my mom (who by the way seems so much more upset than I do) I've typed away at this computer, washing my hair, looking at my hair, touching my hair, looking around the house for hair pieces, displeased with my hair, envying those who still have their hair, worrying about what I'm gonna do with my hair, finding excuses not to leave the house, meditating on my hair, and still, I know it will grow back, but how long will it take?
Song of the Day: She Chooses Life- From "The Hours" soundtrack
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| Current Feeling |
| 07.31.04 (7:51 pm) [edit] |
Just get saved people! That's all I ask. It makes me so upset, well not upset but, disappointed when people who have so much promise are just wasting their lives living for themselves. I don't know how it is to be without God because I can hardly remember a time when I wasn't with Him, but it must be a feeling of "living for the moment" or something like that. I am not trying to start any uproar against unbelievers, but this is my opinion.
I saw the "Manchurian Candidate" yesterday. If you wanna go see a good movie that is a great choice. Meryl Streep was amazing and so was Denzel.
Ooop. Time for Big Brother.
Song of the day: Last I've seen of my heart.
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| You Are... |
| 07.11.04 (3:39 pm) [edit] |
I take it back. I take it all back. There are still some wonderful loving men out there. I think, more than anything, I have been looking at men the way the world does. Ya know, men are mostly perceived as lazy beings who crave nothing but food and sex. Why has my mind changed? Due to the lack of religious nutrition I have not been getting, I popped in the mothers day sermon (from Nationott) into my VCR.
The men's choir was about to sing a song. I'm not quite sure of the name, but I'm guessing it's "You Are." Anyways, this one guy was the soloist and he said "I would like to call my wife up to the stage." She was a tad embarrased but then went up on the stage. They started the song and he sang to his wife. I was about to start crying at that very moment. It was so beautiful that someone could love their spouse o'so much. Simply beautiful. I think that I have been focusing too much on such trivial things than the things that count the absolute most. It is so much easier to say something positive than something negative. So today please, just be positive.
Song of the Day: You Are- The Nationott Men's Choir.
Quote of the Day: "Try to be positive most of the time" ~ Jan
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| That Airry Haze |
| 07.10.04 (7:53 pm) [edit] |
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Last night I had a dream about Air. Me, Stan and Roje' were in it, it kinda resembled Craker Barrel, at the front desk where they sell the junk. Anyways we were sitting by the candy section and Air came up to us and she said "Stanley, you passed your test even though TallOne did the back. Good job." I was like, "No way. That's unfair." Then she showed me my paper and said, "You got an 'F' actually a 65 but you know that is an F for you. I said, "Oh well, it's the end of the year, it doesn't matter." and she gave me a strange look. Skip Skip... We were then at a mall, (only me and Air) and she was in a store window. Arch and Vawrey were behind her and she was making some strange looks, after that my mom woke me up...
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| Be Yourself |
| 07.08.04 (11:00 pm) [edit] |
There should be a point in everyone's life when they just wanna be who they are. This whole "faking for approval" attitude that Americans and pop culture seem to have today makes me sick. Yes, I am an American. Yes, I do keep up with pop culture, but isn't this "I gotta be like everyone else kick" just hurting more people then it's helping?
Let's take a look at Mary-Kate Olsen. You'd think she was the "All-American Gal" watching her and her sister in so many tv shows and movies all while running a multi-millionaire empire. All of a sudden you are smacked back into reality when it is reported that Mary-Kate has an eating disorder. She is only human with the same peer pressures to be a size 0 or even a young sex symbol, whatever...
This is the point where a large percentage of America's culture is mentally ill. Sick, if I may. This whole thing is pathetic, not Mary-Kate, but the media, the movies, the music, the diet ads, the reformed thumb-suckers. My goodness they even have the animals involved. It's Ok to be yourself. I say, "Living for people is when you stop living." I'm not saying that drugs, narcotics, or anything that can harm your body is right, but c'mon, loosen up. Lets celebrate diversity! Let go, just be you.
Song of the day: I've had the time of my life - Jennifer Warnes
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| Lookie! |
| 07.02.04 (6:34 pm) [edit] |
| How to make a TrinaBinaBear |
Ingredients:
5 parts competetiveness
3 parts silliness
3 parts leadership |
Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add curiosity to taste! Do not overindulge! |
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| The Magic of 1997 |
| 07.02.04 (6:27 pm) [edit] |
This was a time period where there were no terrorist attacks, wars, or even MTV2. This was the summer of '97. This was the best summer of my life. First, EVERY show that I have ever been remotely interested in was on. Does anyone remember the show "Second Noah?" God, I loved that show! Aww...but it was '97, the time when everything was great.
The summer basically started in April for me. That April was the first time when I knew how it felt to be in love with someone. This was an experience that I would eventually strive to feel for the rest of my life. That summer, well, at least in the beginning of that summer, I was with my dad's ex-wife, Linda. She was a stroke victim and I was a pretty good kid so she didn't have a problem watching me. Eventually, my ex-best friend, Sapphire, would come to join me at this short-lived venture. Me and Sapphire had a fall out so I ended up leaving Linda and spending some time at Nationotts summer camp.
This was definately the best choice because I would find a new best friend, Liz. We both ended up in camp for some reason (BTW "TallOne" was also there but neither of us liked her anyways), so we bonded and clicked instantly, even though I had known her for 2 years prior to camp. She was also a Second Noah & Hanson fan, so it was DEFINATELY a match.
[i]On Hanson[/i]
I was flipping channels one afternoon and their song "MMMbop" came on VH1. I was amazed. That was probably the most catchy song I have ever heard in my life. I remember the first thing I thought was, "I have to get their cd and posters." I've been a fan every since.
[i]On Second Noah[/i]
The departure of this show was probably the reason why me and ABC have such a love-hate relationship. This show started in 1996, and I really started to watch it in '97. Talk about family programming. To this date, every Sunday at 7:00 pm I still get an adrenalin rush, because I feel that one day Second Noah will come back on. If you have any tapes please notify me. PRONTO
Anyways, thanks for reading my rant
Song of the Day: (In dedication to 1997) Babyface - Everytime I Close My Eyes
Quote of the Day: "Pat Boone, He's gonna be the artist in residence!" ~ Jessie Beckett, Second Noah
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| Carb Withdrawal: A Body's Fight |
| 06.28.04 (6:36 pm) [edit] |
I've just started doing Atkins, and I am officially going through carbohydrate withdrawal. See me, I could live on bread alone. I truly can care less about meat, but now, meat and veggies are my only choice. For those of you who think that this "Way of Eating" is full of unlimited bacon and all the saturated fats a heart can desire---- it's not.
Here is how it works;
The first two weeks of this "Way of Eating" is immensely restricted because the body is so used to using carbohydrates as the main source of energy. Why would that be a problem? Because if carbs are used for energy then excess fat isn't, therefore, when limiting carb intake to 20 grams (only for the 1st 2 weeks) fat will become the ultimate energy. You're never hungry on this program so you eat fewer calories, burn stored body fat, and have more energy especialy if you were addicted to carbs, like me.
After those first 2 weeks, every week you add 5 more carbs to your plan. When you stop losing weight you lower your carb intake until you start losing again (this is your "carb number). After you have reached you goal then the maitenance part of the "Way of Eating" comes in...
Anyways, after 48 hours of no, dare I say it, bread, pasta, chips, fruit, starchy veggies, rice, corn, and sugar, I am [b][u]COMPLETELY[/u][/b] going through withdrawal. I've been in an online support group all day at my computer and all of a sudden I would taste alfredo. Sickening..., but one thing, well, there are two things, that have been my saving grace are Atkins Advantage Bars, and Exercise. When I went to Curves today I don't think I have ever felt more energized! It made me forget about my carbs for 30 minutes.
I will keep everyone updated on my progress and probably even start a new blog dedicated to this New "Way of Eating."
Song of the Day: Patti Scialfa - 23rd Street Lullaby
Thought of the day: Will Pizza Hut's delicious crust ever be an option again?
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| Can you believe this? |
| 06.28.04 (5:45 pm) [edit] |
| TrinaBinaBear is contagious! We always knew it... | N
POISON |
From Go-Quiz.com
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| The Little Things |
| 06.25.04 (5:49 pm) [edit] |
Today was a wonderful day despite me being under the weather. I got a surprise email from someone and it was definately worth it. I also talked to my moms friend who said some very wonderful things to me. Such a blessing. Also it has been officially confirmed that I will be working with "Patty." I called him today and he wants me to start on Sunday. This is great. I just need to find something to wear.
Quote of the Day: Yes, I do remember you!
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| Continuation |
| 06.22.04 (6:51 pm) [edit] |
Ok, I went up to Nationott today and it was still the same, "run of the mill" kind of place. I did see a couple of people, but I can't say that it was a definate happy reunion. Yeah, I saw Air...eh... Sickening how the feeling just wares off.
ArchMin called me again today. She asked for some addresses of a couple of people so she could write recommendations for them and sign it was the "Senior Advisor." She also said that PS and Jan did not call her back so she thinks that they are just going to make the changes she outlined and dismiss her....eh
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| Letters Of Strife |
| 06.21.04 (2:10 pm) [edit] |
ArchMin called me today around 10:45a.m. She said "Hey, It's me..." She then told me that she had written an 8 page "memo" to PS and Jan about the things that have been going on at Nationott. An example of what she said was i.e., oral sex, poor administration, terrible cleaning facilities, etc... So I said to her "Well, did you feel better after you wrote it?" and she said, "No, but I can't continue to let these things happen without it having some change." She then went on in the letter talking about Air and Towerhigh. She said Air tried to break down everything that she built and the Towerhigh should be fired.
The list went on and on, so there was also a level of shock on me 'cause Arch said this to me, "I know you have Jan's ear. If you wanna help me out by talking to her then you are welcomed. Just don't tell her what I told you was in the letter." This is scary. I mean I do agree with her on some things but no enough to fight her cause. I mean yeah, I'm gonna miss ArchMin, but there is a time that you should stop milking the cow. I told my mom about the letter and she said that ArchMin shouldn't have written it because she's not throwing herself into the line of fire but she is throwing her superiors, peers, and Nationott staff into it.
MM...MMM...mmm....this is sickening. I kind of hope Jan does approach me because I wanna see her reaction to all of this mess, and I kind of don't want her to approach me because I have a good reputation with my teachers and superiors. The last thing I want is to be thrown into the mix. Then it all depends on if they are gonna take her letter as valid or if they will just dismiss it. I really don't know PS and Jan enough to know how their reaction will be to this letter or even how they will see ArchMin from here on. I guess they will try to treat her in the Christian manner or they might even close her off altogether.
It's everyone else' word against hers basically, ya know, unless they talk with the class of '04's resident liars, "the gossiper" and "Pinky" but they will probably drop ArchMin's claims. But then again maybe Jan will realize that their claims don't hold water. Or she might even talk to Vawrey, the resident tell-all, about everything. She definately doesn't have an opinion b/c she can change from hot to cold like a reptile can change it's color. But then again there is always Air. Air has credability, yet she loses focus when put in a troubling situation i.e., Emotions on the Overlook. But then she could probably just suck it up and tell everything without thinking about it.
As my mom said people's jobs have just been put at stake. I mean it's about time we got a principal that can talk with parents, ya know, someone who is real. Then we finally got teachers who know how to teach. I can't say that the highschool administration is at all good, but I can say if we would have had our previous HS administration then I wouldn't have been able to work in the office or even have as much extra-curricular lee-way as I do now.
BTW: Tomarrow I start my community service with Madam Action at Nationott so therefore all missing infor and or new news will be posted tomarrow.
Song of the Day: Never too Much - Luther Vandross
Quote of the Day: You do the best you can with what you got ~ D. Cates
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| Southern Aloha |
| 06.12.04 (6:41 pm) [edit] |
Today is dedicated to the little creatures that have just passed while leaving their children behind as orphans. Yes, they were only 17 and no, they were not raised in the "ideal" American home with 2.3 children in a household along with a dog and cat. They are the cicadas, who have finally left. Thank God. I don't know if they were near you, but they were pests. And finally the first day that they are gone the storms have stopped and the sun is smiling again.
Secondly, I wanna throw out a congratuations to Paula Deen, my favorite tv cook from Georgia, on her marriage. Paula, if I knew you in person you can rest assured that you'd be getting a very nice congratulatory card from me :wink:
Thirdly, I finally got to see a movie called 'Final Appeal' featuring Jessie Beckett.
I think I only have a week left of summer unless I go back on my word (to myself). I am supposed to be going to school to work in the office. Maybe I could only do that for a week so I could get the rest of my community hours in and can still have ample time for myself. Anyways, it wouldn't be bad to see Air again. The other day I had a dream about her. I went up to school to work and she was in a meeting with some teachers so I was waiting for her to come out. She finally did and I said to her, "Hey, I have something very important to tell you; we need to have a hot conference."
Gee, could it get any more like the real thing? Yesterday Roje' came over my house to pick up the treadmill that he was supposed to pay me for, but hey, lets get serious, the machine was crap...I wouldn't have paid for it at all. I did get the universal steering wheel from him (on rental)... cheapskate...
Song of the Day: Redneck Woman - Gretchen Wilson
Quote of the day- "...and I'm gonna take all your money and spend it on things that you hate."
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| The Full Puzzle |
| 06.06.04 (5:34 pm) [edit] |
I did go to school on the 27th and here is the missing information that I mentioned on the 26'ths post.
I went up to the school with "The Pink and Blue One" to whoop them at video games...which was accomplished. We were there for a good 2 hours before the game started, and in those 2 hours I talked to ArchMin about her supposed "Resignment" and basically she had said the smae thing that she told me at Jan's house. Except she said she ould only come back if she was the vice principal. Her political promises: To make all highschool teachers reapply for their jobs; To have PTF meetings (parent teacher fellowship); to be fully in charge of discipline; and have many new sports and clubs.
All I have to say is "if [b][u]HELL[/u][/b] freezes over it still wouldn't happen.
Air wasn't there that day b/c she went to Six Flags with the highschool.
That's pretty much it...
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| Annibirthday |
| 06.01.04 (6:28 am) [edit] |
Today is my birthday and I am officially [b]17[/b]. This is a landmark because it is my last childhood year. Today is also the 12 month anniversary of my joining tblog ::applause:: Thank you for reading for all of these months.
Song of the day: (surprisingly none wait... the commerical jingle for 3 dairy products a day)
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| Just When You Thought it was Over pt 2 |
| 05.26.04 (7:23 pm) [edit] |
So the mechanical bull made a gossip frenzy errupt. The seniors graduated and I headed for the reception. We served Air's family and friends and later on in the day I had a chat with her. She said that the bull scene was "trash" Vawrey said "it cheapened the whole graduation" Stew had fallen out he thought it was so funny. All around it was a great day.
Now for today. I don't wanna beat a dead horse, but Towerhigh sent me home for wearing jeans. Yes, there was some excess drama but I was sent home... Anyways, I had a change of clothes and I came back up to the school for the 6th grade graduation. Yet again me and Stan ended up doing the same thing that we had done yesterday, but the difference was, today was more classy. I recorded this little venture on my camcorder. Skip Skip, we went to the noonday ministry barbeque at Jans house, which, by the way, is a beautiful house. She welcomed us into her home and made some barbequed dishes. It was very nice and a great way to end off the year. I asked her to say, on camera, what she would say to us if instead, we would have graduated. She said, "Well first, I wouldn't believe it."
While I was there I had a very nice conference with ArchMin. We were in the kitchen and she explained to me why she wouldn't be coming back. I finally understand her. Air should really just sit down and have a 1 on 1 talk with her so they won't end off this year on bad blood. Jan was also very welcoming to Arch as well. I think she invited her to come out on the boat this summer or something. I just smiled. As we were leaving I hugged Jan and she said "Come visit me this summer" and I said, "Well, it would be much easier if I had a permit or a licence or a car." Air also said the same thing to me today brfore I got send home.
All around this was an ending that I would have nver expected. I just hope that this summer will be as full of maturity as today was. Thank you and goodnight.
BTW: I might go to school tomarrow so I will update any missing information. And also I placed in the science fair. Told ya...
Songs of the day: Hanson - Yearbook, Third Eye Blind - Deep inside of you
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| The Madness!!! The Credits |
| 05.24.04 (8:52 pm) [edit] |
Tomarrow is graduation day for those raunchy seniors, but before I get into that I have to say what happened today. Well, as we all know, this is basically a free week so no one came to school with the exception of my posse minus Sidney.
Anyways, we were hanging out with Air and then we all went out to CiCi's Pizza. While we were there I had encountered the utter fascism of Air. It started out as a joke but as the moments went by it got worse and worse. Also (brace yourselves b/c this is hilariously funny) as we were sitting at the table the "hemmroid" and "junior" were pointing video game guns at us. Air preceded to say "PUT THAT GUN DOWN BEFORE I STICK IT...[i]BLALAHBALAHBALAH[/i]! I was completely shocked and in pain from laughing so hard. This was definately a side of her that I would have never imagined.
Now, about the graduation reception, I guess I'm just making a mountain out of a mole hill but I really don't want to do it. I did make a solid commitment to go and help but I just don't want to do it. This is really something because I would really hate for someone to stand me up in my time of need, therefore, I will go and do the job that I have agreed to do. But rest assured, tomarrow will be my last day.
Song of the Day: Tina Turner - Proud Mary
Quote of the day: "Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name; and they're always glad you came."
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| An Apple a Day |
| 05.21.04 (8:29 pm) [edit] |
I have had yet another conference with Air. Actually there were 3. Anyways, the day started off with us about to take our bible test. We weren't supposed to go to chapel, but since Towerhigh insisted, we had to. So we went and Tower did the sermon/recap of the year. It has actually been a great year.
Afterwards we went back to Bible class and took the test. It was rather easy, then we went to Geometry class and took that final and I finished early so I left early. I went downstairs and headed for the computer lab and ran into Air. She said "Are you going to the lab?" I said "Yeah, but I need an English book." she said "No problem I'll get you one." She said that with a weird smirk on her face. I think my presence was needed b/c of the tooths weird obsession with "the Nationott Vixen." So I was down there and she brought the book.
After I was done with it I went back to her class and we had a hot chat along with Stanley. Now for the "Almost Final Chapter" of the Junior/Senior fued. Air has been planning to throw the seniors a reception for many months, because I remember her asking us to help her. Anyways, ArchMin and her [Air] were on the phone yesterday and ArchMin said "I never wanted to have a reception." and Air said "Well, you said that it was ok and now your saying that it's not. Don't play with me like that." (All of this is straight from Air's mouth) So she was kind of upset about it even though she barely said anything. At first she was definately holding back, I mean she started off about to say it and then she stopped. I said "You mean ArchMin?" and she kind of growled and then I said "No, come on, release."
During the middle of our fresh chat Painge wanted to come in the room. One thing I have to say about that is I can't say one thing around her because she always has to open her mouth, and Air isn't as open when she is around. Plus we usually end up talking about her never-ending love trials along with her sex obsession. But she wanted to come in and no one would open the door for her. Then she banged really hard on the window. Air said "Keep banging on that door and you're gonna be sent home!" Painge then said, "Well open the door!" So Stan finally did and she came in and said, "Gosh, open the D*mn door!" Air went crazy. She kicked her out, came back, and said to us "What is wrong with her?! I don't even cuss!"
Ok, we then went to take our U.S.History final, which is ArchMin's class. We came in, sat down, and then she began to speak:
[i]"You know, I've had a hell of a year. I mean, I've been suspended. I've been lied on and talked about, but I am anointed and everything that I have touched has prospered. There was one particular person this year who has gone around telling lies on me and that person was struck horse for 2 weeks. (referring to Tower) So, no I will not be coming back next year, but it will be by choice."[/i]
I was in total shock, and the class was rolling. That lady is a nut. I mean what a great way to end your saga. She then went on talking about shortcuts and scenic routes. Blah Blah... Later, after lunch, we went to science and took that test. After we finished we were dismissed one by one. I decided to stay because Nastchole, "gossiper", Pinky, and Chandalier came into the class and began to talk about old times and utter gossip. The subject of the senior reception came up and "the gossiper" said, "I never wanted this stupid reception anyways, she's gonna be looking real stupid when no one shows up." WTH? I was very p'd because she was talking about Air, but not only that. I mean I just don't understand that stupid class. They are continuing to have drama all the way up to their last day there. Sickening...
I then left and cleaned out my locker. I was walking down the steps and Air was in the high school office and said "Hey" I then said "You talkin' to me?" She said "Yeah, come on." So this was the second half of our conference. I remember asking her what score she made on her SAT's but blah blah... I then asked her if it would be ok for me to bring my camcorder. She said that she would ask Mr.O and then I gave her my cell number. She was putting it into her phone book. and while she was she was singing my name, "Katrina, Katrina" I was lovin' it. She then said, "OOH I have an apple." I then reiterated with a "That is the word of the week."
In conclusions "An Apple a Day makes the year that's going away a safer place to stay." There is still an entire 4 days to go with this saga and truthfully I cant wait to see where the journey will end.
Song of the Day : Fly - Celine Dion (instrumental dedicated to apple)
Quote of the Day : "Never take the shortcut, but always the scenic route, cause' maybe you'll live to tell about it." ~ ArchMin
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| Apples with a Spring Breeze |
| 05.20.04 (3:44 pm) [edit] |
Edited on July 20, 2004 at 11:26 a.m.
This afternoon I had a fresh chat with Air. Actually this is how it got started. First, I was in the computer lab trying my best to make an A in that class. Anywho, Air walked into the class came over to me ( I knew it was her because she smells like fresh apple's and a spring breeze) she started to rub my back and said, "Are you gonna come upstairs at 3:20?" I said "Yeah." So I waited for the bell to ring and headed for the stairs. I then see Painge and Air talking in the hallway about the class trip information and I get p'd.
I waited on Air and she said "Come on, I'm ready. I really need to tell you something" So I followed her up the steps and we went in her classroom. We sat down and she told me something that I cannot post on this blog do to the people that this information would affect. [b][u][i][Here is the information: "heydawg", "undadaequaita#1", and "O' King Cole" got caught with the bible exam test key. The night before "heydawg" called me and started asking me these 'off the wall' bible questions that Air had never reviewed with us. Also, "heydawg" had the answers to the history test, but thats not what this blog was about. Updates posted at the bottom] [/i][/u][/b]But anyways she told me and then she said "Now I don't want to waste time doing this [[i][u]writing a new test from scratch][/u][/i]." So I gave her an idea [i][u][to make 4 essays as the whole test] [/u][/i]and believe it or not, she jumped on it and loved it! Afterwards, when I was about to leave, she said "Thank you for always having a listening ear."
I love talking with her. I really do even though it may sound utterly pathetic. I really enjoy her. Whew... I know she is about to have a serious change in her life do to "the tooths" graduation on Tuesday. After tomarrow all school work is over and I have decided to attend school. I told her I would help with her boards and junk like that. Plus on Tuesday a couple of people from my class will be assisting her with the dinner party that she is throwing for the seniors (yes, you heard right but "the tooth" is in her class) So then that will be the end of part 1 in this saga. Next year will be part 2 since Air will most likely be our homeroom teacher :D and maybe I will be able to have part 1 1/2 this summer if I decide to volunteer at Nationott.
BTW: I saw Roje's car and While I was looking at it, his brother made me laugh so hard that I was litterally peeing on myself. No joke.
Song of the Day: I Wanna Dance With Somebody - Whitney Houston
Song for Yesterday: Dancing in the Wind - Hanson
Quote of the day: Excuse me Shellia!
[u][i][i][b]Updates: Edited on July 20, 2004 at 11:31 a.m.[/b][/i][/i][/u]
"heydawg" was suspended I believe. "Undadaeqauita#1 was just in the newspaper yesterday. I think he was also suspended. "O King Cole" I'm not sure. But, as I was informed on July 19th, both Unda and King Cole now HATE, you got it right, HATE, "heydawg" Because she snitched on them. Which is the basketball teams "Unwritten code of becoming hated."
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| The Air Up There |
| 05.20.04 (3:16 pm) [edit] |
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Wednesday, May 19, 2004
Today was such a wonderful day. All I have to say is, "I love Air." Yes I do love the stuff that makes us survive, but I mean my English teacher. I know I didn't blog yesterday, but in Bible class our class was holding hands and saying what we were thankful for. So it was Air's turn and she said a couple of things and then she said "Katrina, I love you like a daughter. You don't let anyone walk over you, you just get things handled. You remind me so much of myself and especially during the summer hold strong and continue to be yourself." I love her so much. That was yesterday. Today she wasn't there for Bible but showed up for English. As she was checking for homework she said "Hi Katrina" and smiled. It was very nice because she didn't do that to anyone else.
One more thing. Me and TowerHigh got into a vicious confrontation thanks to Painge. [This confrontation centered on a comment HT made: "I don't know why y'all picked Katrina to be your class president. She doesn't do anything." I confronted her about it that day after lunch, and instead of denying what she said, she got on Painge for telling me. There was a big fight in the h/s office, and everyone left pissed. More than anything, I wanted HT to feel guilty about talking about me behind my back.] I don't know what to think of Pain. I mean one day she's hot the next day she's cold and sometimes she's luke warm. Boy is she a blister on the bottom. Nichole came up to Nationott today and she looks great. She has lost a drastic amount of weight and I'm really proud of her. Anyways, I was talking to her about Tennessee and she said that she loves it down there and it has alot of malls. She also said something the truly made my day. "The white boys love the black girls down there, and they're cute." After that I was done. I mean not only do they like black girls, but they are also cute? Amazing.
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| It Got Old Quick |
| 05.16.04 (10:54 am) [edit] |
I wish I liked someone. I haven't even remotely had a crush on someone for about 4 years. There is nothing like having a special feeling for a certain person. I mean you are over the moon. Train said it best in the line "Tell me, 'did the wind sweep you off your feet?'" Yes, I have gone through that before and it is a spectacular feeling.
Songs of the day: Matchbox 20 - The Burn, Last Beautiful Girl; Train- Drops of Jupiter
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| The Nitty Gritty |
| 05.14.04 (8:37 pm) [edit] |
Today was the best school day ever. We had Senior Chapel, it's kind of a bacaloric (<---heh) service for the graduating seniors. Anyways, chapel had started and ArchMin said "Hey, Juniors, move up a couple of rows." and no one moved. So she said it again and, still, no one moved. So then she said, "Ok, you wanna be rebellious, well, the whole junior class, GET OUT!" So a couple of people from the class got up and were about to leave and all of a sudden Air comes out of her classroom and, in a very subtle way, says "No, please, go sit back down. Just move up." >
I know that it sounds like a normal thing for a stressed out homeroom teacher, to plead to the class, that she loves, to make the correct decision. Hey, I loved it. We all know how I am about drama. So after everyone sat back down and moved up slightly ArchMin had alot to say to us. "You know rebellion is from Satan, and I plead the blood over that spirit!" It was simply amazing. I know that this may sound terrible but I was intrigued by the excess drama that occured and continued. ArchMin then started to lead the praise and worship and sang "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" She then started adding things to the chorus i.e, "He's got the class of '04 in His hands." She then went backwards and said "He's got the class of '03 in His hands." Many of my classmates were outraged. So "Sunray" started to sing the song very loudly and said "HE'S GOT THE CLASS OF '05 IN HIS HANDS!" Air then tried, in her subtle way, to stop him. AHHHHHH!!!! Whoooo!
Later on in the service the seniors had gotten prayed over. This was just an all around great day. This is why I have a love/hate relationship with the end of the year. First, I usually can't stand my classmates, and right when time is up I start to enjoy them...ugh.
One more thing, tomarrow I am gonna go see "Troy" (about to say this is a very sarcastic way...) oh boy, can't wait... :? Yesterday was Lix's birthday so I agreed to go see it with her...dag on. There are only a couple of things I'm frustrated about.
1. I have to go to Curves tomarrow and no situation or person is gonna stop me from staying on track.
2. I have to go get the basketball hoop from "her" old house and I don't know if I'll have any time to do that.
3. I have to meet 2 of Lix's friends, and I know how I am when I meet new people that don't talk. You know when people talk it is easier to enjoy them but gee WHERE DOES SHE MEET THESE PEOPLE?
Song of the Day: Hanson - Believe (dedicated to the day) The "H.B.Nasty" cd that I made for Lix (dedicated to the moment)
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