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| Cloud Free |
| 02.25.04 (7:14 am) [edit] |
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I wake up- this morning and it is such a beautiful day. After last fall and summer it is a breath of fresh air to have a cloud-free day. Song of the Day: Mariah Carey- Always Be My Baby Thought of the Day: Pizza or not? |
| The Virtuous Man |
| 02.23.04 (7:06 pm) [edit] |
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As time goes by, actually, as I enter Nationott day after day, I realize that I am surrounded by "boys" who don't understand what this life is all about. Some have no remorse for their actions and feel that the world owes them something. After a "not-so-friendly" altercation with "undadaequaita #1" it came to me that I should probably consider an all girl school just so I won't have to deal with the male ego during my beginning adult years. What happend to the man who would hold a chair out for his lady? What happend to the hard worker who loved his wife and took care of his own? This world is so corrupt. Maybe it's just this area of the U.S. I'll give it that because around here it seems like the guys and even the girls think life is just a game. What happend to the virtuous man? Whew, off that subject... I have a new site : www . tabulas .com /~trinabinabear Some pictures of me are on there as well as a couple of pics of Lix. Song of the Day : If you could only see- ???? Quote of the Day: Is it really worth it? |
| A Closer Look |
| 02.20.04 (7:47 am) [edit] |
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Last night I had a dream that I was at the Oscars. I don't know how it happend, but I was backstage with all the entertainers. There was one "entertainer" in particular that stood out. I talked with that person and looked into its eyes. I said "Do you have 2 different color eyes because one is blue and the other is green. Now they kind of look hazel." The person said "No, I don't. See." Then the person gets in my face with their eyes and lets me get a closer look. Then I say, "Oh, your right, and you have such pretty eyes." then the "entertainer" says "Thank you." and kisses me on my lips. I was in shock and awe over it and tried desperately to find this person for the rest of the dream. I was gonna give this "entertainer" my [i]Power for Living [/i] book along with a bible because I just couldn't bare to see this person go to hell. What a dream Song of the Day: Power of Love - Luther Vandross |
| Let's Talk About Love |
| 02.19.04 (6:45 pm) [edit] |
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Air had the sweetest thing to say to me today. She saw me while she had just come from devotion. She says "Katrina, I had you on my mind this morning." I say "Well, that's nice." In English I walk in and she says "Come here" I go to her and she says, "I was watching Joyce Meyers this morning and she was speaking on how some people don't let others interrupt them in their walk of life. You, Katrina, know what you want in life and you do not let anyone deter you from getting what you want. I'm just so proud that you are unique." As she was speaking I was hoping that my body language showed appreciation to what she had just told me. I said "That was so sweet of you. Thank you for that." This all goes back to that word "Intimacy." In a way I think me and Air are learning each other more as time goes by. I remember when she was our teacher in 6th grade, she was so incredibly different. Everything was so religionized. It seemed like everything, from her perspective, was sinful. Last year we were having a conversation in English class about sex (while married). I swear I was completely shocked because I had never known that side of her. And in the beginning of this year she opened herself up and let me catch a glimpse of who she is. By my observations through conversations, she is a very sweet person who is incredibly misunderstood. She means well with everything that she does but people think that she is trying to set them up to stumble. She wears everything on her face. Every bit of emotion, though she does not like to show emotion, comes out through her eyes. She needs affection as much as the next person, yet she wants to appear "together" so to say and be the one to give affection to those in need. Intimacy doesn't have to be between the opposite sexes. As long as you are trying to "see" person and allow their unique qualities to shine then it is a form of intimacy. I'm thinking about throwing her a b-day party but hey who knows. I guess I'll talk this over with Painge. Song of the Day: If Only You Knew - Patti Labelle Quote of the Day: "Tears don't move me unless you're hurt or if you're about to die" ~ Air |
| Dream 2-19-04 |
| 02.19.04 (7:50 am) [edit] |
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This is what I get for playing Smash Bros. so much. I go to sleep last night and it's me "short one", Roje', Liz and Stanley in a car. Short one was driving since she was the oldest. Anyways we were at an airport trying to get to the mall, and we get stuck in alot of traffic. After about 15 minutes we see an off ramp and try to take it. As soon as we start turning, all we can see is miles upon miles of traffic and a car speeds on the emergency ramp. We are about to do the same thing until we see the cops and all of a sudden our car turns into a bicycle. And, like any other person, we start walking the bike back up the ramp and don't get arrested. Skip Skip... traffic eventually dimmed down and we were on the Wilson Bridge. My cell begins to ring and it's my grandmother. She says "Katrina, is that you?" I say "Yes, it is hold on here is my mom" and she says, "No, I want to speak with you." She continues "I'm sorry for all that mean stuff I've said about you. I didn't mean it and I know that I was wrong." All of a sudden a smile is on my face, and I look ahead and the bridge is flooded. I mean so flooded that you would have to go across without a car. So I see ArchMin, my mom, and some others walking/swimming across the bridge, I then wake up. Maybe we made it home safely to Maryland? Who Knows? But it was oftly interesting that my grandmother apologized to me. I now realize that even though it was so sweet in the dream that it may never become a reality. It's ok. I think that even though it was subliminal, it was true... |
| Love and Intimacy |
| 02.18.04 (6:40 pm) [edit] |
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On Sunday, my pastor, "PS" (aka. Jan's husband), did a sermon on marriage. As you know, I am crazy about marriage, love, and commitment. So today when I went to the church for bible study I bought the tape (ususally they are around 15-20 dollars, but they were selling it for $7.50). I get home today and watch the tape and Pastor made a very interesting point. He said "Listen to the word intimacy- "In-to-me-see." In other words, you are transparent to your spouse when you are intimate with them, and I don't mean in the sexual sense. I just thought that was the perfect line :) I want to have that intimacy. I think that is partially the reason why I try to learn people, because I want folks to feel comfortable around me and feel able to show their true selves around me. But even moreso, I want to have that intimacy with my future spouse, and God. Pastor said that their are 4 things that keep a marriage lasting (I can only remember 2 for now); Go into it as a [u]permanent[/u] relationship, and Make Christ the center. When I meet that special someone I have decided to do a couple of things; Show him the tape and allow him to read my book of journalism and musings. If he lasts after those 2 then maybe is the right one :) Songs of the day: Lets Talk about Love - Celine Dion International Lover - Prince |
| Ode to Hanson |
| 02.16.04 (5:02 pm) [edit] |
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Before there was Teena Marie, Michael MacDonald, and Shania Twain, I had an extraordinary fixation with Isaac Taylor and Zac - HANSON!!!!! Though you may think that they are done and over they are back! Their 3rd LP "Underneath" will be out on April 20. I can't wait! I gotta tell Liz. Whew...ok Song of the Day : Where's the Love - Hanson, Save Me - Hanson, Thinking of You - Hanson |
| Mind Games |
| 02.15.04 (7:33 am) [edit] |
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I just had to come blog this down while its still on my mind. I had a dream about me beating up my Spanish teacher, Sony. Lets start from the beginning: I was in Spanish class doing an assignment. I had to write usted or ustedes, something like that and I had written the wrong thing. She says to me "You fail" I say "What are you talking about?" she says "This spelling is all wrong!" So I get really upset and say "Well, you can't spell English words so why should I know how to spell Spanish words?!" she then picks up an enormous biology book and throws it at me. I get so angry then I have to leave the classroom. Everyone is sycing it up and then Sony starts talking more trash and I grab her and slam her up against the wall 2 times while choking her. I then walk away. It is the end of the day and she goes to Stewie to tell him what happend. I'm walking down the hall an I look into Jan's office and she is there. I go in and sit down. She says "This'll just take a minute" and she makes a phone call. As soon as she hangs up I say "I got in a fight with Sony" she drops the phone and asks me what happend. As soon as I start telling her Sony and Air walk into the office. Sony sits in one seat and Air shares a seat with me. I'm trying to tell my side of the story but Air tells her everything. It's still kind of vague what happend next but I'll skip to the end. I went into the multi-purpose room and it was like a flashback to 2000. Pickett was there and so was Lopez. Anyway, everyone was asking me how things went, and I had a feeling like I had just gotten suspended for the day. So I was leaving and I walked up 2 flights of steps to see Oprahs helicopter about to leave for New York. I started screaming "Wait! Wait!" and the helicopter came back down. The door opened and I got in. Oprah was talking to me and said "We're headed to New York!" and the I woke up. All I can say is that I wil never see Sony the same way again, and it was nice seeing Air and Jan in my dream...lol Song of the day : The Way I feel - Remy Shand Thought of the Day : Will I ever truly get into a fight with Sony? Quote of the day: Faith is the Substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen. |
| Mon Possédez Très Emotions on the Overlook |
| 02.14.04 (8:32 pm) [edit] |
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The outskirt of this week has been very happy while inside of my world it has been the very opposite. I guess I should start from the beginning. In chapel, all of the teachers based their messages off of Love. Actually it was a pretty good service. At the end of teh service ArchMin was asked to close in prayer. She started off in a very peculiar way. In the closing of her prayer she said: "There is someone in this room that wears a smile on their face, but are crying in their heart. You know people are talking about you behind your back. Sometimes people say very mean things to a child, and I'm here to tell you that God said He will take care of it." I knew it was me. And that got me... In Air's class we kind of had somewhat of a valentine's party. Air was so sweet. She had brought treats and everything for us. I very kindly decined. She seemed upset about that, but hey whateva... After that class I went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out. (for various reasons including chapel) I was on a schedule so I asked God to let me hurry that up so I could get back to SAT prep on time. My neck has also been killing me and for the last 2 days I've been trying to figure out why it is hurting so much. I thought maybe it was stress but this morning I found out that it is the effect of something much worse...I digress... A couple of minutes ago Stan called me while at the basketball game. He had given me his daily bit of gossip and then I asked him if Air was there. He said yes and I asked him to rely to her that I was thinking about her. Him, being the way he is, refused to tell her so he gave her the phone. I told her and she said "How sweet, why arent you at the game?" I could have said "Because I'm not very social", but instead I said "I don't believe in basketball." Gee, what a stupid response, so for the last 20 minutes I've been so incredibly embarrassed. Yeah Yeah I know Stan... Song of the Day: Ride like the wind - Christopher Cross Thought of the Day: I wonder that the journey will be Quote of the Day: I have grown strong in these trials, Sir. ~ Hester |
| Heaven in my Arms |
| 02.10.04 (5:54 pm) [edit] |
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Music is such a beautiful gift. When I listen to a song it brings back memories of joyful times as well as bad times. Yesterday I had just gotten home from school and started playing my "L..... House the View to the 39th" cd. (yes I made it) and there were songs on there that just made me feel spectacular. I mean I felt like I was in a breeze during the springtime when I heard those songs. The sun started shining and the tears started rolling. Last year wasn't the best of years for me but for some reason I remember it that way. It just makes me have a sigh of relief that I can feel so empowered by music. It's inspiring... Song of the day : Have you ever been in love- Celine Dion (featured on L..... House) Thought of the Day : More tests tomarrow Quote of the day : This time I spent waiting for something that was heaven spent...When you find it don't let go, I know... |
| Is that so bad |
| 02.06.04 (10:18 pm) [edit] |
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I feel like crying right now. The music, the films, the episodes, they're all finally making me breakdown. I'm the type of person that always has to have my way. Is that so bad? Ya know, it's friday night, I'm single. I will not say that I'm lonely because I still haven't met anyone worth it; it's just that I am [lonely]. Is that so bad? Today, tomarrow and the day after that I will be Katrina, but still, I think it's kind of pathetic to be sitting here just typing away at the keyboard and listening to soft music while doing so. Actually I'm having the time of my life. I wouldn't rather be doing anything else at this time but sitting here typing to you, no, I'm wrong. I'd rather be at a long feasting table with Jessie Beckett, DC, Tammy Faye, Jan, Demi, and Meredith while discussing the reasons feminism is truly an art. Their perfume would be filling the air and we would all pour our hearts out to each other. But no, I'm sitting here typing what I'd rather be doing...is that so bad? One day I'll be lying down on my bed talking to my husband about how I used to blog about him...he'll get a kick outta that one. Then maybe a couple of years later I will be rocking our baby to sleep and playing soft music. That would be something. After the little one falls asleep, me and the hubby will spend long hours caressing each other and reminiscing on past good times and cherished memories. That would definately be the life. Eventually... Song of the Momment : Since I lost my baby - Michael McDonald. |
| Dreams and Blessings |
| 02.06.04 (6:28 pm) [edit] |
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Today was yet another snow day! This is such a blessing because we don't have to make any days up since we are not affiliated with the county. I've had many accomplishments today: Talked to Sidney about the "midget&ahalf" situation. She made it much clearer than Docashe's half (code green) version. I also talked to "The Pink One" today on many issues. I even had a small chat with "The Blue one." I now know how to complete the homerun contest on SSB- Melee...yeah This is also the day that I have finally reached 500 tbucks. I do want to get rid of them so if your interested send an email or a comment and I'll be sure to send them. Last night I had the most terrible dream ever...well, maybe not ever but very close. Jan, PS, Air, and Air's Hubby all died. I woke up around 2:00a.m. because my alarm went off. I was so shaken up that I had to go through pros and cons in order to decide if I was going to get up and turn it off. The rest of the night was spent listening to Hester Prynne fight for scarlet rights. Song of the Day: Wayne Newton- Danke Schoen Thought of the Day: Eventually Quote of the day: Welcome to New York it's Saturday Night! |
| Docashe' Docashe' |
| 02.05.04 (5:15 pm) [edit] |
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I had to get my skirt sown up my Mrs.C. I would tell you the full story of that sutuation but...ah here goes. After bible class I preceded to Geometry. I feel a tug on my skirt and then I see that the hymn of my skirt had completely come a loose! Oh my God...I was completely embarrased yet surprisingly calm. Prayer definately changes things. I then went to the office to call my mom. She was about to pick me up until Mrs.C said that she had a sowing kit and that she could sow it up. So for the next 25 minutes I was sitting half-naked in Jan's office while Mrs.C fixed my skirt. Stuff Happens. This entire week, especially this day, has been completely tiring and stressful. I have come around to that time of the month when the newsletter has to be done. It is amazing how people cannot turn in articles on time. I had to beg Vawrey V to even have me write one for her since the paper was so bare...simply ridiculous... I have also received a somewhat promotion in my field of "workingw/outpay." "Stewpot" my principal let me use the camara and get out of class... you know it's not like I barely know this guy. He used to be my 8th grade math teacher. Who'd'a thought? Hottest of the Hot (strickly dedicated to Docashe') The "undadaequaita #1) has a son. He is about 3 years old from what I hear. My source is credible so don't come asking me for excess info... #2 has no dirt on him...YET. I swore to myself that I wouldn't tell anyone (even you) about this but I was approached at my work desk by "Highty and Pala" about what changes need to be made in Espanol... If I said anything further I would be commited for treason. The Blue One raised his hand for the leagalizing of drug possesion at school...sickening. I am now speaking with "Midget&ahalf." Life is too short. I would tell you about that but you would be terribly upset with me. Thats all the news for now... Song of the Day: Since I lost my Baby, Too High, I Want You ~ Michael McDonald. Under Pressure - David Bowie/Queen Quote of the Day: Whiska's, what cats want! |
| The Good the Bad & the Sick |
| 02.04.04 (7:47 pm) [edit] |
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The Good News. Air loved my essay on "Nintendo vs. Playstation" and said that it was so good that she didn't even have to give me a rewrite. Whew, thats a load off because I certainly thought she was going to hate it. The Bad News The "Undadaequaita" guy in my class is really getting to me. I dont really want to say this, but I can't stand him. He treats me so mean and I'm really getting sick of it. Things like this make me more and more happier about graduating. The Sick News. I apologized to the gossiper about an hour ago. Why you ask? Well it was basically the same thing that happend with Roje' but she turned it around on me. I figured if I don't say anything to her then what can she say to me? So I've been ignoring her. As the weeks have past I feel like if I wouldnt have said something then we would both forget what we are angry about and still contain the residual anger. So I decided to apologize...ehh :x Entertainment News. Janet is just too much for herself. Lets get serious, she used J.T as a con to get attention. Poor Justin, What will his gradmother think? Michael Jackson is worse, but we always knew that eh? Martha Stewart is being unlawfully charged. Any idiot would trade! Come on. Thats like making a law against flicking a bug off of you leg. If you see that there is gonna be a problem and someone warns you, then heck yeah I'm gonna flick it... FREE MARTHA! Meredith Vieira's husband, Richard Cohen, has just written a book entitles "Blindsided." This book is a journey through his struggles with MS and Colon Cancer. Mere and Rich were both on 20/20 with Barbara Walters (who will soon be leaving the show) last week. Well my fingers are hurting... Song of the Day : Playboy - T.Marie Thought of the Day : Always do what's best for you. Quote of the day: Be yourself! If you constantly change for people then you will be worse than D.C. weather. |
| More Rants |
| 02.01.04 (1:16 pm) [edit] |
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As time goes by I have a duller view of what will make me happy in life. Maybe the route that I'm talking isn't the one that will give me fullfillment. I'm just so tired of being confused. I am not living my life to please people. This gift was given to me so that I could make the best out of it, not let others dictate what I need to do. I know this is a pretty boring rant but bare with me. Right now if I had it my way I would: 1. Do something that would change my entire attitude 2. Grow my hair out. 3. Become a writer 4. Live on my own 5. Be well off 6. Enjoy Wine or Champange 7. Be more social (go out to clubs) 8. Have leaves on the trees year round 9. Have Tour of Duty, Second Noah, and West 57th play non-stop for an entire month Now that's one way I would do it. Here is what has been on my mind lately 1. Get Married (have someone love me for who I am now) 2. Have a job then quit when I get pregnant 3. Continue life as a housewife This is too much to bare... |