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| Beginning of the End |
| 08.30.04 (6:50 am) [edit] |
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Today is the VERY FIRST day of the beginning of my ending at Nationott. I'm incredibly nervous, but also excited to see what the day may bring. Last Night I had a dream about Air. ArchMin was at Nationott telling me about how she called PS and told him that she was looking for a job 'cause her car had broken down. Then she went on about how "I AM THE SENIOR ADVISOR! THIS IS MY GIVEN TITLE..." but while she was talking to me and half of the other people upstairs, Air came up to me and gave me a big hug. I was lovin it but then Arch pulled me away and continued to speak loudly... Only more juice added to that turning blender... Song of the moment: Never can say goodbye - Jackson 5 |
| Whats been going on |
| 08.29.04 (9:04 am) [edit] |
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Tomarrow is the very first day of senior year. I would say that I'm excited, but that would be a confusing answer, 'cause to tell you the truth I don't know what I feel. I do wanna talk to Air. But then again, we might need to wait for an "exciting or unappealing" situation to spark that conversation fire. So maybe for the 1st 2 weeks this may be a long shot. You never know, especially since the complete ArchMin news I have received over the summer. All it may take is someone mentioning Arch and everything could be rekindled. We have two new books to read in English this year. The first is 'Macbeth.' The second book is every Americans personal favorite, 'Pilgrams Progress.' And rumor has it that we have Air back to back this year. GOD! When am I gonna have time to do my homework for English? lol. Rumor also has it that the infamous "4th period" is yet again free this year. I guess, well it's kind of bittersweet because last year during 4th period I was working for Jan. (or at least on paper I was) This year who knows. All of this will be geared towards community hours. And speech is right after lunch making my dream of leaving at 1 o clock non-existant. (Jesus, I hope I don't cry tomarrow. I forbid that in Jesus' name...) I can (or at least I think I can) still leave at 2:30. But if I can't then I will just get that extra hour of office community service. Why am I talking about this? Now is still summer in my book... Song of the day: Something that Teena Marie sings... |
| License & Registration please |
| 08.26.04 (11:47 am) [edit] |
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I FINALLY got my driving permit today. After 2 FULL days of studying. The last 3 times the scripture "Faith without is dead." Thank You God. Song of the Day: Can it be love & I'm Gonna Have My Cake and Eat It too - Teena Marie |
| Totalitarian Rule! |
| 08.24.04 (9:43 am) [edit] |
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I found out yesterday afternoon that I have just lost my scholarship to go to Nationott. Stewbie called the house at 5:00p.m. He said, "Katrina has to pay full tuition." The funny part about this whole thing is that I wrote the re-scholarship request 4 months ago and we are just getting a rejection call. My mom asked why so late. He said "Oh, I forgot." Oh, if the union would let me cuss!!!! Ok. Now on to the solution. I guess Trinity is completely out of the picture. I mean it is $20,000 a year. That is completely too much. Can you believe Nationot's tuition this year ( for a senior who will basically be having half days) is $575 a month. I mean come on. I do everything up there. I guess, as my mom said, that this will make my year more assertive. Just like when that whore of a hair dresser cut my hair off, I have just learned to be more assertive. The only reason I did so much last year is because I wasn't paying tuition. I mean Stewbie would make me write his articles for the newspaper. I'd have to chase after folks to get articles. I would be talked about, ridiculed, just so I wouldn't "offend" someone who signed the papers to get me a scholarship. I went through a lot of "Shiff" last year. This time around it won't happen. Screw COONCHEEKS!!!!! Yes I have finally used a full name! So now, there is 100 gallons of full under my already raging bonfire. This will be some kinda year. Rumor has it they raised tuition because we have so few people in our class. So, your point is? I could have done everything that I did last year for a G4 paycheck. But did I? No. Oh yeah, about that totalitarian rule. I was thinking, "Hey, I could maybe ask my church for some money, and then it occured to me "Nationott is my church!" In closing, as Cathy (my mom) just said a few minutes prior to this rant, "Your really under pressure now..." Song of the Day: Under Pressure - Queen and David Bowie |
| YES! |
| 08.20.04 (11:05 am) [edit] |
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Ok. From reading my last post you know that I went up to Nationott today. I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE GYM! And they gave me the option of leaving at 1!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! O.k. I'm trying to compose myself. Lemme tell you what happpend. First me and my mom walk into the school. We go to the office where Coney is sitting. I say that I have an appointment with Towerhigh. She says to wait in the lobby. We wait and then O-dee comes in. He says "Ready?" So we go upstairs and sit down. Then he says, "I know that this is a very important year." Then he starts looking through my transcripts. I get a tad nervous 'cause as you know, I don't wanna take gym. So he shows them to me and says "I see that your worst grade on this entire sheet is a "B." We continue. I say, "Can you look at P.E for me 'cause last time they said I only had half a credit. He says (and looks at it) "Oh no, you have the full credit." I squeezed my moms leg. The excitement in my spirit was overwelmed. So he says, "You don't have to take gym." And he told me the classes that I have to take: 1. Bible 2. English (I'm assuming that it is 2nd period. Also Air does leave chapel early if time runs over :) 3. Physics (lab and math. We only have Vawrey twice a week) 4. Pre-Calculus (Heavy Prayer) 5. Speech (only for a half a year) So that leaves 2, not one but TWO free periods. He did say that I could leave early OR work in the office for community service. I only need about 15-20 hours any ways!!!! Ok. So here is my plan. 1. Bible and English are gonna be fine because those are taught by Air. 2. Physics Math is taught by O-dee, and lab is taught by Vawrey, therefore I might have to be on both of their tails to make a decent grade. Same with Pre-Cal. And finally speech. I'm not even sure if you take tests in that class, but I know that I will make an A. Plus, working in the office for a few weeks. So here we have it. My class schedule for the entire year. Maybe 2nd semester I can leave at 12:00 noon. I might even have my license by then. And who knows about the car <-- hopefully > BTW: Go rent, or buy "Adaptation" that movie is crazy |
| Aww Man! |
| 08.18.04 (6:42 pm) [edit] |
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I get sick just thinking about school. I can't stand the feeling of sad anticipation. I also hate how new folks aka. Haynes try to start new things. I mean come on. We freakin have to wear ties. Ok. But the good news I guess you could say, is that I have Air as a homeroom teacher (or so Stan said so) She is also our sponsor. But hey, I will be up there friday to figure out my schedule. And I will try my best to find any possible way to not take gym. You see, those suckers should have let me take gym last year. Stupid folks... Hopefully Trevor Brown will be our gym master. Coney (stupid woman from the office/ also known as Mrs.C) is still talking trash about me. Let me say this and let me say it loud and clear, "I, KATRINA, WILL NEVER TELL THAT RETCHID OLD WOMAN ANYTHING!" I can't stand her. That is the one thorn on the flower of working in the office. Also, I'm not sure about the whole Air thing. I mean will she give us assigned seats? Will she still be a bonified fascist? Sickening... I really don't want an immaturity rerun like last year. I want everyone to act civilized. Hopefully the new kids will be wonderful. Chapel. Oh God, chapel. Man I don't wanna go, but then when you think about it, it might be ok as long as things go well. But we've never had chapel without ArchMin singing her lungs away. Whats gonna happen in that department? I wanna throw up. Yes, I do, but by God this will be a wonderful year |
| Dream vs. Reality |
| 08.10.04 (8:37 am) [edit] |
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Last night I had the most realistic dream I could have ever had in my life. It was so "to a T" to reality. This just shows that I really need to turn that tv off before I go to bed and also always remember to pray before I shut my eyes. The dream started around 2 am. I was really suffering from insomnia last night, maybe because I didn't pray before I shut my eyes. Anyways, the dream reflected a whole nuther (lol) side of me. I mean when I got up I felt as if everything had happend, and I was trying to hide myself from being discovered. Yet again, me and Roje' were showering. Not together this time but he was in my bathroom showering and I waited for him to come out and then I went in. Terrible because I don't even like Roje'. We are very close friends, but sexually? Are you kidding me? I wonder why he is always the male character in my dreams, BUT not of my dreams. Not only was he the clincher, but there was also this person, who I don't know, which was that main character of my dream. This was the most disturbing part of it all. Air, Jan, and my mother all had parts that resembled the whol "Hours" part minus the lesbianism. I feel so freakin crazy right now. Song of the dream: I got you - Teena Marie and Rick James |
| Haynes His Way |
| 08.09.04 (8:36 am) [edit] |
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I would usually NEVER dedicate a blog to someone I have had uncontrollable confrontation with. Last night I had a dream about "Haynes", my 8th grade principal who almost completely expelled me from Nationott. It's a long story, but anyways he is now our new VP thanx to Jan (<-- grrr...) So how am I supposed to handle this? I mean this is a regime change back to evil. And the thing about it is that he has everyone hypnotized. Air, my mother(this one hurts the most), and all of the office staff. That man is crazy. Literally. Hopefully his wife will get pregnant again and he will have to go on maternity leave just like last time.> Anyways here is the dream. I was in my room and he had cameras there. Roje' and me were in my room and all of a sudden Haynes appeared and said, "Don't call me Sideshow Bob." Then I changed my room and stuff and he kept watching me through cameras. Skip Skip We are in a toys r us. It was for some reason where Spanish class was being held. So we were in class around the area where you put your items on the belt. He came in the room and said that he needed to see me. All of a sudden I am running around the store with these 3 guys. They all said something nasty to me, and then, all of a sudden Haynes throws a cell phone with a wire at me. He was really stalking me. I spent most of my time trying to turn people against him, because, as I said earlier, he hypnotized everyone (like he is doing in real life) So, going on, I didn't pick the phone up and ran outside of the store. It was nightime and I jumped in the car with my mom. We were pulling out of the parking lot and we saw a dog that look "exactly" like my dog Jack. So I said, "Mom pull over that's Jack." I then said "Hey Jack, come on boy!" He came up and my mom turned the car light on and I read his tag. It said something like, "In memory of Jack London." So then we let that crazy dog go free, 'cause it wasn't Jack. He was let go on a highway. That was the end of the dream. Now for my take... As soon as I woke up this morning I started praying. I was still half sleep, but I was praying and as soon as I prayed about my Haynes situation that phone rang. Erie huh? It rang twice and my dad answered. Thank God 'cause if I was at this house alone I don't know what would have happened. Song of the song: Tell me something good- Chaka Khan and Rufus; Teena Marie - Hypnotized |
| Sunday's Sun |
| 08.08.04 (6:26 pm) [edit] |
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Today I went to get braids. Yes, you heard right, braids, the one hairstyle I truly detest getting. I mean they look beautiful, but it takes sooooo many hours... good gracious. The difference about this time is that I didn't cry, my head doesn't feel that bad, and I basically had no choice due to last Wednesday. Soon (hopefully during Nationott's "Revival Week") I will get my senior pictures done. You'll never believe what I had a dream about last night. SKing became our homeroom teacher/sponsor. It's kinda funny 'cause I talked to ArchMin and Vawrey V on the phone last week (not together) and they both said that they (both claim from reliable sources) know Freed Man and SKing would be our homeroom teacher and advisor. What a load of... I mean WTHeck? But then again it was from the most uninformed people at Nationott. I'll find out everything on the 27th anyways... Song of the Day: My Body's Hungry- Teena Marie Thought of the day: Big Brother 5 is the best |
| Catch Your Reflection |
| 08.07.04 (6:26 pm) [edit] |
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I don't have much to say today, I feel under the weather, but I wanna say "Rest in Peace Rick James." I know he may have had a hard life, but he sure has given me some happy times with a few of his duets with Teena Marie and a couple of his songs which I would like to reflect on: Fire and Desire I'm Just a Sucker for Your Love Happy Call Me Slow Dancin Songs of the Day: Slow Dancin' - Rick James & Chaka Khan, Fire and Desire - Rick James & Teena Marie, You Make Love to me like Springtime - Teena Marie, Hypnotized - Teena Marie BTW - Visit my picture site (trinabinabear.buzznet.com) link is at the top left |
| Personal Loss |
| 08.05.04 (12:01 pm) [edit] |
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I am so depressed. I'm not just saying that because it is the "in" thing to say now-a-days. I truly am depressed. It seems like nothing in this world can make me happy right now. Last night I had a horrifac experience at the hair dresser. I swear if I weren't a Christian you would have seen me on the news with a headline saying [u][b]"17 year old girl kills stylist with a gun." [/b][/u]I'm very serious. Thank God for Jesus. I didn't even cuss the girl (<-- I'm being very nice) out because maybe I was in too much shock, or I wasn't trying to be incredibly mean to her (> Another thing I thought about was family issues which I thought I would never let go of, but I have. Ya know. You never know how much you appreciate apart of your body until it's gone or not working correctly. I never realized how much my hair had to do with my self-confidence. Though it was never a main issue with me in the mornings it is a part of my body that I'd rather live with. Everytime I think about it a certain line in scripture pops up into my head, "and give my body to be burned." I know, I know. It is just apart of my body which will return to the dust of the ground, but IT IS A PART OF MY BODY! ::silently breathing:: Ok,... I have also realized that I only care about 3 things. I mean this [b]Only 3[/b]; God, My family (including the animals), and myself. That's it. I know I always post drama on the blog, and I know that I have a schtick for reality shows, but [b]none[/b] of that matters to me. I could care less. So since those 3 areas are apart of my heart here is how my heart is built; In the Arteries are my family. In my veins is me, and in my heart is Jesus Christ (Though He makes it all work together.) Which brings up another scripture in my mind "All things work together for good to them who love God, to them who are called according to His purpose." So as I sit here in this chair and listen to orchestra music, I am feeling amazingly calm. I feel better as time goes on and I know so will my hair. It all comes down to trust. When you go to a salon you are putting immense trust into whoever is about to deal with your hair. My hair. My hair went through tremendous trauma yesterday. My hair...My hair!!!!! Oh God, my hair :( Ok,... everything will be fine. Hair grows. Thank God hair grows because that is one of my saving graces in this matter. I just feel lesser than a woman should. No one would ever want me with hair like this, not saying that I'm out looking it's more like I am a woman, a woman wants hair. Beautiful hair, not screwed (<-- I'm doing good) up hair. > Men are attracted to hair! I do feel like eventually I will be at that level where I will be married and start a family, but for now this was one of the keys to that door. My hair, Good Lord, my hair. But it will grow back and in a year this won't even be an issue, why? because hair grows, even though I'm at the verge of crying right now. I've been moping around all day trying to put the most depressing song I possibly could into my head. I've been taking tons of vitamins so my hair would grow faster. I've been praying and sitting in the dark and talking to my mom (who by the way seems so much more upset than I do) I've typed away at this computer, washing my hair, looking at my hair, touching my hair, looking around the house for hair pieces, displeased with my hair, envying those who still have their hair, worrying about what I'm gonna do with my hair, finding excuses not to leave the house, meditating on my hair, and still, I know it will grow back, but how long will it take? Song of the Day: She Chooses Life- From "The Hours" soundtrack |